Friday, 2 July 2010
Sex
Seven Kinds Of Sex ...
The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet
someone and you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for
a short time and you are so needy you will have
sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a
long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you
usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called ... Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too
long. When you pass each other in the hallway you
both say ..... 'F**k You.'
The 5th kind of sex is called ... Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the
afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called ... Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife/husband any more. She/he
takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And . Last ... But not least ....
The 7th kind of sex is called ... Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self.
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Damn media bias
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.
Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.
The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.
Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter addressing the Harley rider says, 'Sir, that was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'
The Harley rider replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'
The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page. So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'
The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'
The journalist leaves.
The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions, and reads, on the front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH.
=========================================
That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.
Government requests for Data
I've just been pointed to an interesting part of Google that shows by country, the number of requests for data by governments.
Have a look at the Google page if you're interested.
Do your bit.
Go over HERE to let the coalition government know which laws you think should be abolished.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
The ASA should grow some balls.
I'm sure some people are professionals at finding offence in almost anything these days.
This poster has been banned.
I mean there must have been thousands of complaints.
Oh Noes
However, the ASA received 33 complaints that the ads were unsuitable to be seen by children, were offensive and condoned or encouraged antisocial behaviour.
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
About time too.
At last the BBC is being forced into the real world.
The BBC was facing revolt from thousands of staff today after taking an axe to its final-salary pension scheme.
Many staff will be worse off in retirement under the proposals as the corporation looks to counteract a £2 billion deficit in its pension fund.
Especially if it could affect this insufferable Twat.
But then I expect he's safe.
From the comments:
"Preston thinks he is the Queen Mother of broadcasting!"
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