Contingency planning.

I read with interest, stories of people caught out by the ash cloud that  partially enveloped us.

I travelled the world for over forty years and the one thing that was drummed into me was, SHIT HAPPENS.

My three rules of travelling are:

Have $100 of cash in your wallet. Everywhere will accept dollars.

Keep a credit card in your wallet that is empty. Only use it occasionally to keep it extant.

Make sure that you have at least a dual band mobile phone.

All these have got me out of trouble either singularly or all together. Don't rely on other people. Be prepared for the worst.

Girl with gun at her back forced to hand over £40m Graff gems

Jurors today watched CCTV footage as a robber held a gun to the back of a jewellery shop assistant and forced her to empty £40 million of gems out of display cabinets into a black bag.........

And now comes the climbdown

You only have to read the weasel words.

"The major barrier to resuming flight has been understanding tolerance levels of aircraft to ash," the CAA said. "Manufacturers have now agreed increased tolerance levels in low ash density areas."

and

Lord Adonis said safety was the "paramount concern" but research into the effects of the volcanic ash had led to a "better" understanding of the implications.

The whole debacle is what I expect in this, " Oh god. I'll be sued" mentality that has a hold on the UK today.

Full article

here

Charity Appeal.

Cold Steel Rain is doing a parachute jump in aid of the charity, Combat stress.

Do pop over to his blog and give him support either financially or just reassuring words.

I will never forget my first jump.

The jump was to be from an ageing Cessna at 2500 ft.

Now that was a very small aircraft and they managed to cram the pilot, the jumpmaster, and three first time parachutists into it. To get us all in they removed all the seats (except the pilot's), and forced us to kneel on the floor. Oh and to save on weight they removed the door.

One hand at all times had to be over the reserve chute to prevent it from being activated, the other hand was white knuckled clutching a strut. For the plane to get to height it had to circle upwards due to the load. Have you ever knelt by an open doorway with the ground disappearing at an ever increasing rate? If I'd known what that was like.......

Before we got to height the jumpmaster makes you take the hand, that is stopping you fall out of the door, to check your static line. Bearing in mind that you are kneeling next to an open door it is a tad scary. Especially as the plane is circling and the door next to you is on the downward side.

At 2500 ft and heading straight and level I was informed that I had to assume the position. Sit in the doorway with just the left buttock actually in the plane, and grab both sides of the doorway with my hands.

Then....

Well I don't think that I remember actually hurling myself from the plane due to the sheer terror.

But..........

It was the most fantastic experience of my life. I went on to do many more jumps until I got married and had kids. But that's another story.

Do give him your support.

There are flights over the Uk

Just watched an easy jet flight land at Standsted.

Check it out here

H/T to Old Holborn

Six. Why do I need six?

The conservatives must be really flush with money. Six election flyers through my letterbox today.

That's six more flyers for the shredder then.

I'm getting there.

And if you are interested in "gates"

I will pass you over to the guest post at Subrosa's blog

Thanks Subrosa.

Volcanogate

I'd be interested to see the models that NATS use. I'm sure they were influenced by NO Win, NO Fee lawyers.

If we can predict AGW to the Nth degree 50 years in the future.How can we not know, with our precision measuring equipment (hollow laugh) what is happening over our small country?

I've had a blue jumper on the washing line for the whole debacle. Guess what? It's covered in volcanic ash? Nope.

We really do live in a scaredy cat world.

And do read Passing the buck.

The war of the cats may be avoided.

My daughter and her husband are stuck in Dubai. Because of this I have been tasked with picking up their cats, from the Cattery, and bringing them back to chez FE.

One slight problem. The FE household has two cats. I remember the last time we brought a stranger cat to live with us. Our three cats (one of which is now deceased) ganged up and refused to allow her through the cat flap. In the end she ran away. The worst bit was after a year a best friend of ours turned up at our house with a dying cat which she had witnessed being run down. Horrifyingly it was our runaway.

So I'm relieved to read this.

Flights will finally start again in the UK on Tuesday after air traffic control company Nats lifted restrictions for Scotland and part of northern England.

And this.

Flights will finally start again in the UK on Tuesday after air traffic control company Nats lifted restrictions for Scotland and part of northern England.

It's little things like this that strike a chord with most people. It's called compassion. Pity it is in such short supply amongst career politicians.

Slightly topical

Actual  exchanges between pilots and control  towers

Tower:

"Delta  351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6  miles!"

Delta 351: "Give  us another hint! We have digital watches!"

---

Tower:

"TWA  2341, for noise abatement turn right 45  Degrees."

TWA  2341: "Center,  we are at 35,000 feet.. How much noise can we make up  here?"

Tower: "Sir,  have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it  hits a 727?"

---

From  an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff  queue:

"I'm  f...ing bored!"

Ground  Traffic Control: "Last  aircraft transmitting, identify yourself  immediately!"

Unknown  aircraft: "I  said I was f....ing bored, not f...ing  stupid!"

---

O'Hare  Approach Control to a 747:

"United  329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock,  three miles,  Eastbound."

United  329: "Approach,  I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."

---

A  student became lost during a solo cross-country  flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on  radar, ATC asked,

"What  was your last known  position?"

Student: "When  I was number one for takeoff."

---

A  DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an  exceedingly long roll out after touching down. 
San  Jose Tower Noted:

 

"American  751, make a hard right turn at the end of the  runway, if you are able.. If you are not able, take  the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at  the lights and return to the  airport."

---

A  Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in   Munich , overheard the following:

 
Lufthansa (in  German):

"Ground,  what is our start clearance  time?"

Ground  (in English):

"If  you want an answer you must speak in  English."

Lufthansa  (in English):

"I  am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany .  Why must I speak  English?"

Unknown  voice from another plane (in a beautiful British  accent): "Because  you lost the bloody  war!"

 

---

Tower:

"Eastern  702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on  frequency 124.7"

Eastern  702:

"Tower,  Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after  we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the  far end of the  runway."

Tower: 

"Continental  635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact  Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that  report from Eastern  702?"

Continental  635: "Continental  635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern. We've already notified our caterers."

---

One  day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the  tower to hold short of the active runway while a  DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned  around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some  quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the  radio and said,

"What  a cute little plane. Did you make it all by  yourself?"

The  Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by,  came back with a real zinger: "I  made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like  yours and I'll have enough parts for another  one."

---

The  German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are  renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only  expect one to know one's gate parking location, but  how to get there without any assistance from them.  So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747)  listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt  ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign  Speedbird 206.

Speedbird  206:

"   Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! Clear of active  runway."

Ground: "Speedbird  206. Taxi to gate Alpha  One-Seven."
The  BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a  stop.

Ground:

"Speedbird,  do you not know where you are  going?"

Speedbird  206:

"Stand  by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location  now."

Ground  (with quite arrogant  impatience):

"Speedbird  206, have you not been to Frankfurt  before?"

Speedbird  206 (coolly): "Yes,  twice in 1944, but it was dark --  and  I didn't  land."

---

While  taxiing at London '

s Airport,  the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft.  Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose  with a United 727..
An  irate female ground controller lashed out at the US  Air crew, screaming: "US  Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you  to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right  on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult  for you to tell the difference between C and D, but  get it right!"

Continuing  her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now  shouting hysterically:

"God!  Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever  to sort this out! You stay right there and don't  move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive  taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want  you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you,  and how I tell you! You got that, US Air  2771?"

"Yes, ma'am,"  the  humbled crew responded.
Naturally,  the ground control communications frequency fell  terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air  2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate  ground controller in her current state of mind.  Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was  definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot  broke the silence and keyed his microphone,  asking: 

"Wasn't  I married to you  once?"