I’ve headed up north to spend the weekend with my son. Worryingly I’ve been asked to bring my tools. I just hope it doesn’t involve plumbing.
I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence but it seems to me that since they installed average speed cameras at the Dartford crossing on the M25, there seems to be permanent tailbacks on both sides for miles.
UPDATE
It took six bloody hours to get there. Normally it takes three and a half. I expect they’ll start installing parking meters on the A1 next.
Well in the back of a cupboard, that is.
This a tale of skill, strength, despair at times, tenacity, and finally success.
My central heating has servo operated shut of valves for heating of hot water and house heating. I’d noticed over the last two weeks that occasionally the radiators were heating up when hot water was demanded. The obvious culprit would seem to be a leaky servo valve for the radiator network. Rather than replace the entire unit (£60) I hunted around on the interweb and found a supplier that could supply me with internal spares for the valve at £15. (By the way, if you’re looking for similar central heating spares I would direct you to WWW.Bes.co.uk I ordered the parts at 7 PM. They were with me before 8 the following morning).
Now the background has been explained, now the fun begins.
A simple job I thought. Just a case of removing the servo motor from the valve, removing the old parts and replacing with new, replacing the servo motor and job done. Simples. Only tool required, a screwdriver.
Not. The silly fool that had positioned the valve unit (Me), had never thought that he would ever need to overhaul it in situ. I couldn’t get at the fixing screws. Bugger.
Only thing for it was to remove the servo valve in it’s entirety from the pipework. The only problem was that this pipework is 22mm diameter and has work hardened with age. The two connection nuts put up a bit of a struggle but nothing compared to removing the valve from the pipework. Even after slackening every connection in sight it took the combined efforts of a three foot crowbar supplemented by three foot of scaffold pole to enable the valve to be withdrawn. The actual refurbishment of the valve took a matter of minutes and I was thinking that I was on a romp for the home straight.
Wrong.
To get the valve back in place took even more brute force and I was starting to sweat like a rapist before finally the valve popped back in position between the two pipes. Nearly at the last furlong. Just simply screw the connection nuts and tighten. Top nut OK, but when I thought that the bottom nut was seated correctly on the threads and started to tighten, horrifyingly I spied a little sliver of brass sidling it’s way from the nut. Stop stop, you’re cross threading, my brain threw at me. Now your FE, when he does plumbing uses as few compression fittings as possible, and solders everything in sight where possible. The thought of having to cut and make new soldered connections was a dreadful thought worthy of suicide on the authors part due to the confines.
However casting a glinty eye at the connection I had a feeling that it was slightly out of line and after a little correction tried the connection again. Lo and behold the nut firmly screwed up the thread (No sniggering at the back please), and with a slight squeak was firmly tightened.
And guess what? Everything works as it should, with no leaks.
Morals of the story:
1. I’ll never be a design engineer.
2, Weigh up the task correctly before you begin.
3. Never give up.
4. Employ a plumber and let him bugger it up while you snigger in the background?
5. Expect the worst. And plan for it.
A simple analogy to show how climate change works.
Stefan Boltzmann was seriously injured in the writing of this post.
Remember the caped crusader Anti-smoker from Stoney Stratford? Herr Bartlett. It would seem that he can’t even manage the rules of an election
AboutMyArea/MK11 learned over the weekend that there is to be a by-election in the Stony Stratford South West Ward.
Paul Bartlett failed to sign his declaration of acceptance of office at or before the first meeting of the council following the May elections.
If you really want to read anymore about this waste of oxygen you can read about him, Here, Here, & Here.
If he’s that inept I hope the electors will vote for someone else for their own good.
The video below only makes sense to those who have a strong background in engineering. It’s a ground breaking invention1.
Or Not.
1 This is how you need to look and sound when you're talking WAY over your head. How this guy manages to keep a straight face is beyond me. I was waiting for him to start cracking up, like I was, listening to himself. The explanation is totally untrue, but sounds reasonable.
Many years ago, Rockwell International decided to get into the heavy duty automatic transmission business. They were preparing to tape their first introductory video and, as a warm up, one of the stage crew began a monologue that has become legend within the training industry. This man should have won an academy award for his performance.
Now keep in mind, this was a rehearsal for camera, lighting, and stage crew,and he had no script! This is all strictly off the cuff, nothing is written down, and nothing he says is true. It's just meaningless drivel and BS made up as he goes along. I am told this video is still utilized as a training aide for incoming congressmen, lawyers, and current White House Administrators.
As some of you know. I’m a smoker.
Shortly there is going to be a parliamentary meeting to discuss whether plain packaging of tobacco products should be introduced.
Both sides of the argument have been mustering support for their relevant viewpoints before the closing day for submissions. Tomorrow.
Yesterday the “Tobacco Control Industry” had only managed to garner 75,000 replies in support, whereas the “Hands of our packs” had managed to collect at least 235,000. However the plain packs puritans are not known for the British sense of fair play and have resorted to grubby underhand tactics.
Having seen that their efforts were failing they’ve now resorted to using a Brazilian origin web site to try and reinforce their oppressive message.
You can read more of the story here.
And before any Anti-smokers think about nipping over there to sign the petition, I suggest you think long and hard before you do.
Do you like a drink or two, or maybe you like your food a little too much?
Let me tell you. There are other single issue groups that are looking to see how this tobacco control template pans out. Don’t be surprised if your favourite tipple or gastronomic delight is sold to you with a plain label,covered in health warnings and graphic pictures of diseased livers and high blood pressure warnings.
You have been warned. Soon you will be living in a grey world where all the fun has been removed by the state.
Such an unfair world. When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50/min (charges may vary).
Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though - she's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I've called him Bradford.
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's Spam.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I've just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little bastards deserved it!
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
A man bought a waterbed but unfortunately his house caught fire and he was poached to death.
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News flashes:
1. Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove.
2. A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it's definitely race related.
3. Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
4. I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency.
