Day two of his incarceration.

The young man enters the room followed by the grizzled old man and Miss P, and looks at where he will be confined.

The austere, cream covered walls are lined, high up at one end’ with a plethora of electrical sockets and various unknown equipment. Taking up most of the room is an iron bedstead made up with well used linen. Bearing in mind the reason for his incarceration there is an on suite bathroom suitable for disabled access, although the young man is not disabled, just weak from what he has had to deprive himself of in the last few weeks.

within minutes a middle aged woman enters the room and sets out various terms and conditions for the young man and his two companions. The young man is warned that he will be incarcerated for an indeterminate period and will only be allowed out of the facility when he is no longer a danger to the general public. His two companions are informed that during visiting hours they will be limited to 30 minutes only, and no longer. Thus ends day two.

Question time for my regular readers;

Q1: who is the young man?

Q2: Who is the grizzled old man/

Q3: Who is the mysterious miss P?

Q4: Why the reason for the incarceration?

to be continued……………

One man knows, and his name is Dave Wheeler.

*That will really confuse you*

Good parking

just an interim post. Don’t laugh at the poetic justice.

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Wardens funeral, a voice from inside screams "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!"

The Vicar smiles, leans forward  sucking air through his teeth and mutters.....

"Too fucking late pal, the paperwork's already done"

Day one of his incarceration. the sequel.

It all started on an overcast and drizzly evening. The old grizzled man and Miss P were escorting the tall young man along a poorly lit corridor where the occasional flickering fluorescent light cast strangely disturbing shadows. Was it their imagination, or was that a fleeting glimpse of a shadowy figure that they never actually saw directly?

Progress was slow as the young man had had his medication withdrawn, some weeks before, and a weariness had set in. However a wan smile was often noticed by,his two guardians on several occasions on that walk. Could that be, they surmised, that he was savouring his recently last substantial, and nourishing meal, before the uncertainty of the of the quality and quantity food he would have to attempt to pretend he enjoyed, during this incarceration?

Eventually they arrived at the door of his place of incarceration, and after looking apprehensibly at each other opened the door……….

Cranmer v ASA.

I posted just the other day about Cranmer, a religious blogger with a sense of humour who is being “investigated” by the Advertising Standards Authority about an advert on his blog.

Here his reply to them.

ASA – His Grace responds

i wonder what they’ll make of it. Po faced twats

be careful lobbing at the green

Guess what happens?

Bet you didn’t guess correctly. Me neither.

Book Report - Priceless

Students  at a local school were assigned to read two books,  'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill  Clinton.

One  student turned in the following book report, with the  proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this  report

Titanic:        cost -  $29.99
Clinton:       cost -  $29.99

Titanic:        Over 3  hours to  read
Clinton:       Over 3  hours to read

Titanic:        The story of  Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent  catastrophe.
Clinton:       The  story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden  love,  and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:        Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:       Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:        In one scene,  Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:       Ditto  for Bill.

Titanic:        During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:       Ditto for  Monica.

Titanic:        Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:       Let's not go there.

Titanic:        Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton:       Monica is  forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:        Rose  remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:       Clinton remembers  Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:        Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there,  either.

Titanic:        Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:       Bill goes  home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

Skoolteechrz and Their chilldrn

I think Miss P, a teacher I know, will most certainly agree with the vid below. Although this is an American video I suspect many British teachers quietly harbour the same sentiments

Come on teachers. tell me it isn’t true. Tell me that school children and their parents are paragons of virtue. I dare you.

ASA v The Archbishop.

From the Archbishop’s website. He’s been asked to withdraw the advertisement below by the Advertising Standards Authority. In the interest to the general public, I reproduce it below. After all it’s my civic duty to report such a heinous crime

Apparently there have been a number of complaints about one of the advertisements His Grace carried on behalf of the Coalition for Marriage. He has been sent all manner of official papers, formal documentation and threatening notices which demand answers to sundry questions by a certain deadline. He is instructed by the ‘Investigations Executive’ of this inquisition to keep all this confidential.

Since His Grace does not dwell in Iran, North Korea, Soviet Russia, Communist China or Nazi Germany, but occupies a place in the cyber-ether suspended somewhere between purgatory and paradise, he is minded to ignore that request. Who do these people think they are?

I really fail to see the offence in his post. That’s why I’m posting it so others can see for themselves what a useless organisation the ASA has become.

I am a solution to your problem in old age.

Worried your pension will run short?

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do?

Senior Health Care Solution

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison, where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!

New teeth? - No problem.

Need glasses? - Great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.
(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).

And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income tax any more.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

No wonder the rest of the world’s population can’t get here fast enough!

Terms and conditions:

This is a limited offer only. This offer only applies to the first 325 applicants due to the fact that MPs’ will have passed their kill sell by date. Illegal immigrants cannot be shot in Lieu. Applicants should apply to TheFilthyengineerripyouoffscam @sucker.co.uk

Alternatively phone 060705049995 and be ripped of in thousands of pounds of call charges.

SHS. The truth

Penn & Teller debunk the myth that second smoke kills.

In this video we have Joe Cherner, the rabid antismoking zealot, using every facetious argument in the book as why smokers should be banned from nearly everywhere. It’s almost a religion for him.

He even admits he doesn’t understand the science. Tosspot.

He makes Deborah Arnott from ASH look like a nun, in comparison