be careful lobbing at the green

Guess what happens?

Bet you didn’t guess correctly. Me neither.

Book Report - Priceless

Students  at a local school were assigned to read two books,  'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill  Clinton.

One  student turned in the following book report, with the  proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this  report

Titanic:        cost -  $29.99
Clinton:       cost -  $29.99

Titanic:        Over 3  hours to  read
Clinton:       Over 3  hours to read

Titanic:        The story of  Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent  catastrophe.
Clinton:       The  story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden  love,  and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:        Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton:       Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:        In one scene,  Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton:       Ditto  for Bill.

Titanic:        During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton:       Ditto for  Monica.

Titanic:        Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton:       Let's not go there.

Titanic:        Rose gets to keep her jewellery
Clinton:       Monica is  forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:        Rose  remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton:       Clinton remembers  Monica for the rest of his life.

Titanic:        Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:       Monica...ooh, let's not go there,  either.

Titanic:        Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton:       Bill goes  home to Hilary - basically the same thing.

Skoolteechrz and Their chilldrn

I think Miss P, a teacher I know, will most certainly agree with the vid below. Although this is an American video I suspect many British teachers quietly harbour the same sentiments

Come on teachers. tell me it isn’t true. Tell me that school children and their parents are paragons of virtue. I dare you.

ASA v The Archbishop.

From the Archbishop’s website. He’s been asked to withdraw the advertisement below by the Advertising Standards Authority. In the interest to the general public, I reproduce it below. After all it’s my civic duty to report such a heinous crime

Apparently there have been a number of complaints about one of the advertisements His Grace carried on behalf of the Coalition for Marriage. He has been sent all manner of official papers, formal documentation and threatening notices which demand answers to sundry questions by a certain deadline. He is instructed by the ‘Investigations Executive’ of this inquisition to keep all this confidential.

Since His Grace does not dwell in Iran, North Korea, Soviet Russia, Communist China or Nazi Germany, but occupies a place in the cyber-ether suspended somewhere between purgatory and paradise, he is minded to ignore that request. Who do these people think they are?

I really fail to see the offence in his post. That’s why I’m posting it so others can see for themselves what a useless organisation the ASA has become.

I am a solution to your problem in old age.

Worried your pension will run short?

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do?

Senior Health Care Solution

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison, where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!

New teeth? - No problem.

Need glasses? - Great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.
(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).

And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income tax any more.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

No wonder the rest of the world’s population can’t get here fast enough!

Terms and conditions:

This is a limited offer only. This offer only applies to the first 325 applicants due to the fact that MPs’ will have passed their kill sell by date. Illegal immigrants cannot be shot in Lieu. Applicants should apply to TheFilthyengineerripyouoffscam @sucker.co.uk

Alternatively phone 060705049995 and be ripped of in thousands of pounds of call charges.

SHS. The truth

Penn & Teller debunk the myth that second smoke kills.

In this video we have Joe Cherner, the rabid antismoking zealot, using every facetious argument in the book as why smokers should be banned from nearly everywhere. It’s almost a religion for him.

He even admits he doesn’t understand the science. Tosspot.

He makes Deborah Arnott from ASH look like a nun, in comparison

The Bexley one is free.

I’m glad to see that Olly Cromwell, the Blogger from Bexley has not been incarcerated under section 127 of the communications act.

He has however been sentenced to 80 hours community service, £620 of costs awarded against him, and a watered down restraining order.

On 13 April 2012, Cromwell was convicted under section 127 of the Communications Act 2003 for sending two tweets about Bexley Council, one of which contained a profanity (c***) and a photograph.  Previously, Cromwell had been charged with harassment and incitement to commit criminal damage, but those charges were dropped on the basis that there was no evidence and the Prosecution was misconceived.

Despite the Prosecution proposing a custodial sentence, the District Judge decided that Cromwell should receive 80 hours unpaid work. A restraining order was imposed, but vastly reduced from the widely drafted and very restricted order sought by Bexley Council.  Notwithstanding his conviction we secured a full costs order for the harassment charge which was thrown out.

That’s what you get when you challenge your council.

George Orwell would be so proud..

The full account is here at Malcolm Knight’s Blog

THE LOGIC OF SCOTTISH CHILDREN

DAVID CAMERON was visiting a Scottish primary school and he visited one of the classes.  They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.  The teacher asked Mr Cameron if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.  So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

A little boy stood up and offered:  “If ma best freen, wha lives on a fairm, is playin' in the field an' a tractor rins ower him and kills him, that wid be a tragedy.”

“No,” said David, “that would be an accident.”

A little girl raised her hand:  “If a skale bus kerryin' fufty children drove ower a cliff, killing a'b'dy inside, that wid be a tragedy.”

“I'm afraid not”, explained David, “that's what we would call a great loss.” 

The room went silent.  No other children volunteered.  David searched the room.  “Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?” 

Finally, at the back of the room, wee Johnny raised his hand.  In a quiet voice he said:  “If a plane kerryin' you and Mr.Clegg wis struck by a freendly fire missile an' blawn tae smithereens, that wid be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” exclaimed David, “That's right.  And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Weel,” says wee Johnny “it his tae be a tragedy, because it certainly widnae be a great loss..... and it probably widnae be a f***ing accident either!”

Dirty mind?

 

Who’s correct?

I was watching the BBC six o’clock news to night and listened to the presenter who covered the story of the grooming and rape of young girls. It was like squeezing blood out of a stone before she would admit that they were of asian origin.

Seems bloody obvious to me.

Nor did the reporter dare say that they would most probably be adherents of the Religion of Peace hate.

After all they don’t appear to follow chinese, buddhist, or sikh, religions by the look of them. (And their names don’t imply it either).

It struck me about the whole piece, that the Beeb’s scared shitless about criticising that particular religious mind-set.

I suspect that these scum who may, or may not be a minority of muslims in the country, probably  adhere to this.

Throughout the Muslim world, women are treated as second-class citizens who are inferior to men in terms of intelligence, morals, and faith. This arrangement derives from the Qur'an itself, which states unambiguously: “Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to the other” (Qur'an 4:34).
The Qur'an likens a woman to a field (tilth), to be used by a man as he wills: “Your women are a tilth for you [to cultivate], so go to your tilth as ye will” (2:223). Such a view is consistent with the teachings of the prophet Muhammad, who emphasized that women were little more than possessions of, and objects of sexual pleasure for, their husbands: “The husband is only obliged to support his wife when she gives herself to him or offers to, meaning she allows him full enjoyment of her person and does not refuse him sex at any time of the night or day.”

Now, to get back to the Beeb’s article they were at great pains to play down that this religious sect was in anyway more prodigious in these crimes than any other group.

What had me pricking my ears up was when the journo stated that only 25% of these crimes were committed by “asians” (I’m not ruling out chinese, indians, etc, completely), but it appears to me every time one of these cases comes up, they are always of the same sub group.

So this group which makes up 5% of the population, in my mind carries out a disproportionate number of attacks on women.

When I look elsewhere I find this.

Of 68 recent convictions for on-street grooming, 59 were of British Pakistani men.

Doesn’t look like 25%, does it?

Make up your own mind. Who’s telling the truth? And why are we kowtowing to a religion that hates us.