Google analytics

Tuesday, 31 August 2010

Bugger.

I’m bloggered if I can be bothered to write anything today.

Nothing to see here. Move along now. And stand away from the comments box. Yes, I mean YOU, sir.

Monday, 30 August 2010

Twat de Jour

I give you. Wait for it. Tristan Osbourne.

This is the lefty that endorsed the ciggy busters stunt in Medway (That’s in Kent ), as a good thing.

Of course he’s the typical champagne socialist.

Schooling at the King’s School, Rochester.

FFS.

Pre-Preparatory School

4+ (Year R to age 5)*
£2,220 per term (10 instalments of £666.00)

4+ (Year R 5+)
£2,730 per term (10 instalments of £819.00)

5+ (Year 1)  
£2,730 per term (10 instalments of £819.00)

6+, 7+ (Years 2, 3) 
£2,940 per term (10 instalments of £882.00)

The above fees include lunch 5 days per week

*Reduced fee applied until end of term account following 5th birthday

Preparatory School

8+, 9+ (Forms L1/1)     
£3,500 per term (10 instalments of £1,050.00)

10+, 11+, 12+ (Forms 2/3/4)
£3,980 per term (10 instalments of £1,194.00)

The above fees include lunch 5 days per week

Senior School

13+ - 18+   
£5,140 per term (10 instalments of £1,542.00)

Lunches(Senior School only)  £300 per Michaelmas term; £220 per Lent & Midsummer term.

Words fail me.

Then he comes out with this utter cockwaffle.

Half of Medway's smokers will die from cancer, todays Medway Messenger has reported.
Despite the negativism and opportunism of libertarian and right wing bloggers, the local media has come out in support of this blog and government-backed and NHS campaigns to 'ciggy-bust' our way out of a cul-de-sac of health inequality.
According to the 277-page report, entitled
Investing in Health, it shows that the chief killers in Medway will be lung, breast, bowel and prostate cancer. Alcoholism will also cause more deaths from the disease.

Apart from the fact the report is entitled “Investing FOR health, there is no such claim as “Half of Medway's smokers will die from cancer” in the actual report.

He really is a lazy, silver spoon, champagne socialist of the highest order.

And if you really want to feel depressed watch this

Naturally they managed to sneak a “think of the cheeldren” in there.

To my everlasting shame. My son was at University with him.

Mind you, my son took a real degree.

Saturday, 28 August 2010

Blogging

Why do I do it?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? Well I have many times. It’s not as if I’m a single issue blogger like Iain Dale, I just blog whatever comes to mind.

But why do it at all? Would you bare your diary to all and sundry? Probably not.

However since entering the blogosphere it has opened my mind, as to how many people are quietly questioning society as we know it today.

If you are of the type that only frequents the MSM, then you only see a carefully choreographed view of the world. Since entering the blogosphere, I’ve realised that all is not as it is depicted. Two examples.

Take smoking.

Second hand smoke is now firmly entrenched as being immediately fatal to anyone coming in contact with it. Via the blogosphere I was pointed to information that exposes that as a lie.

Manmade climate change.

I once considered we might have had a hand it. Now I’m firmly sceptic.

I could go on. Luckily for you I wont.

The exchange of information in the blogosphere is something that our politicians scumbags are going to have to take into account in the near future.

In the information age, nothing is hidden.

*Saturday ramble*

Ciggy busters. – The apologist

Go on give this twat a pasting if you are a smoker.

Musings from Medway

Left wing ******


UPDATE: He's getting a pasting in his comments section.

Friday, 27 August 2010

Alternative energy

As you will have noticed from previous posts, here, here, & here. I’ve been undertaking frivolous serious research into alternative means of powering a house.

All three are out of the question, either by cost, as in the case of photovoltaic. Lack of resource, in the case of the wind turbine, and the sheer impracticality  of building a nuclear reactor in the garden shed. (I think it’s not allowed due to the council byelaws).

Yes I know some commenters have explored  harnessing the tidal power of the toilet but trying to fit a generator in the U bend could cause problems.

So what next?

Methane recovery?

Heat pumps

Wood burning stove?

Fiddling the meter?

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Ciggy busters won’t go away

It’s still being discussed by this blogger in Rochester.

UPDATE: He's getting a pasting in his comments section.

Going nuclear.

pwrschematic

 

Further to my search for alternative power, to light and heat F.E. towers, See Here and Here, I’m going for more bangs for the bucks.

Damn wind power and solar, now’s the time for the big one.

First the shopping list.

*Finds blank fag packet*

Containment vessel. Yup, I’ve got an old hot water tank somewhere.

Pump. Check. Pond pump still works.

Heat exchanger. Check. Remove radiator from wife’s car.

Concrete shielding. B & Q here I come.

Wood for shuttering the concrete. Check. Can use the timber from the garden shed.

Turbine. Ok I’ll use they central heating pump as a turbine generator.

Need secondary circuit pump.

*Scratches head*

That’s the washing machine out of action. Better tell Mrs F.E that it’s broken and she’ll have to do the washing by hand for a while.

Fuel. Easy. Ebay must have plenty of old watches for sale with luminous radioactive dials.

Pipe. The kids have moved out so I’ll use the central heating pipes from their bedrooms.

Right, can anyone find fault with this specification? Answers please or Kent gets it. Spectacularly.

*Crumples up fag packet. Job done*

Cheap at half the price.

turbine3

 

Having given up on solar power I’ve built a wind turbine on my roof.

First I had to obtain the neccessary bits and pieces, so off to MugsRu again.

2kW wind turbine………..£2,400. (Mmmm. Cheaper than the solar panel).

Mast……………………………….£350

Battery…………………………..£80

Load controller………………£205

Grid tie inverter……………£1700

Solar antifreeze?………….£32

Total cost

*gets fag packet out again*

£4767.

This is going to save me a packet. But wait, it’s not going round. WTF.

Should have gone to specsavers and read the small print.

Your predicted wind speed for TN21 9HZ (suburban) is 2.68 metres per second.

Unfortunately a domestic small scale wind turbine would not be suitable for your property, as the average wind speed in your area is below 5 metres per second.

Oh Bugger.

 

Just had a thought. Should I try Nuclear next?

On the bag of a fag packet.

solar panel

 

No. This post is not about smoking, although I’m puffing away while I write this.

I’ve just been delving around on the internet, to see if I could see the benefits of fitting a photovoltaic solar panel to my roof. You know saving the planet etc, etc, Bollocks, etc.

And here’s what I’ve come up with:

Initial fitting would be £12,000 for the fitting of the panel, wiring, and installing an inverter. Ok, fine.

Expected overall saving per year is calculated at £839. Calculated for the South of the country. If you live in Scotland, then the figure drops to £716.

Looks jolly good I hear myself think. (All figures calculated for me by The Energy saving trust).

Now for the twist.

The panels are expected to last for 20 years, but at the end of their life will only be capable of delivering 80% performance. (The calculations are based on 100% through life output).

The panel will require cleaning on a regular basis. in my case I’ve based it as every two years due to the Oak trees across the road, and the numerous pigeons we have here for some strange reason.

Now seeing that I have a three story house, H & S decree that work on the roof requires scaffolding in my area.

Lets throw in £200 for that (Most likely double). Therefore after 20 years the cost in total will be £2,000.

Inverters burn out in time. Well the good chaps at MugsRyou, installed a top of the range model that lasts 10 years. So I’ll only need two of those. £1000 a throw.

The upshot of this long rambling story is that it will take me 19.07 years to break even. That’s if the panels deliver that 100% for the whole period and we actually get some sun.

Mind you I expect I’ll have long died from a smoking related disease by then.

Did I mention smoking? Oh dear.

Wind turbines anyone?

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Hate Crime

Further to my post on the Ciggy Busters from the Hundreds at Hoo school in Medway, Medway Police have replied with this:

Dear Mr Filthy Engineer

Thank you for your email regarding the Hundred of Hoo Comprehensive School, Kent and "A Betty* Medway." I am a detective sergeant on the Medway hate crime unit, and this has been given to me to investigate further.

I will be making contact with the school in due course, and shall update you once this has been completed.

In the mean time should you wish to contact me directly, my number is 01634 792541.

Yours sincerely

DS 10142 Sallie Baisley

The Hate Crime unit. Mmmmm.

*And why is Betty involved?

Monday, 23 August 2010

Sounds familiar

Seems that history repeats itself.

When did this happen? And where?

Most of you will Know the answer.

His study consisted of the smoking histories of 80 male lung cancer cases that were compared with those of 86 ill defined control subjects. A markedly higher proportion of the former were found to be heavy smokers. More studies continued, fully funded by the xxxxx. xxxxxx founded xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxx(The scientific institute for the struggle against tobacco) with his own money, and continued to fund it until his death. It was this body which produced “scientific” studies linking smoking to cardiac arrest, strokes, and birth defects. Tobacco was officially classified as a racial poison. With this information in hand, the xxxxxx began disseminating anti-smoking propaganda in leaflets, radio ads, newspapers, and brochures. Smoking was banned in all public places and restaurants and bars were forbidden to sell tobacco to women because of the danger of birth defects. Public smoking was banned generally by the use of what at that time was called xxxxxxxxxxxxxx, or today “Secondhand smoke”. Inhaling smoke was said to be 3 times worse than smoking oneself, and it was said to be a xxxxxxxx’s duty for the public health not to smoke. By xxxxx it was illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to smoke and all advertising geared toward children was punished by jail time. In xxxx smoking was forbidden within 50 feet of all health care facilities, and likewise by all xxxxxxx and xx personnel when on duty. xxxxxx xxxxxxwere given candy instead of tobacco products, and used to hand out fliers on the harmful effects of smoking. It was not uncommon for xxs to stick a pamphlet or brochure into the hands of someone actively smoking on the street. Pamphlets not only trumpeted the health defects of tobacco, but also characterized xxxx as smokers, in an attempt to say look, you don’t want to be like them! Furthermore, claims were advanced that the xxxx introduced tobacco to Europe and that its modern use was spread by xxxxxx Capitalism.

No it wasn’t 1950.

The whole article is here. It would seem Ciggy busters are not new to society

Sunday, 22 August 2010

War and smoking. The dangers.

Now, I’ve been around for a fair few years and had one or two life threatening moments in my career.

Just a simple question. What should I fear the most?

1. Smoking cigarettes and dying at the ripe old age of 65?

2. A 500lb bomb and living to the age of 33?

The heath fascists would say I probably shortened my life by smoking 60 a day whilst the 500lb bombs were raining down. At least I would have died with a smoke wreathed smile on my face.

Life is full of risks, and to be scared to death of risk is to cheapen the very essence of being a sentient being.

That’s why smokers need to chip away at the boundaries of the anti smoking crusade, drip by drip. The answer is as Leg Iron writes, they don’t know who you are.

It’s also a case of embarrassing them in the public eye. Making them looking petty minded, spiteful, and only after money.

Petty minded and spiteful is exposed by the school that decided it’s pupils were going to run around the Medway stealing cigarettes from smokers.

Money is Sandwell council’s decision to prosecute a 70 year old women from dropping cigarette ash.

Believe you me, smokers, this is a war that can be won, just by exposing the righteous for what they are. Petty tyrants that are addicted to control. Just chip away at their power, bit by bit.

Then of course a 500lb bomb on Sandwell council and one on Medway would be so much more satisfying.

PS. If MI5, CIA, SOCA, and any other security service reads this blog. Fuck off.

Oh and before I forget, If you drink or are slightly overweight you’re are next in their sights. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Sandwell council v 70 year old lady.

I wrote a week or two ago, about Sheila Martin, a 70 year old pensioner, who had been given a fixed penalty notice for dropping cigarette ash in the street.

Well the time to pay has now expired and she is facing going to court. If she is convicted she could be fined up to £2,500 and gain a criminal record.

However, hope is not lost. She has some help. Please read about the case over at Anna Raccoon’s blog and maybe we can avert the travesty of justice that could unfold in the coming months.

Saturday, 21 August 2010

I am having fun

Over here tearing the arsehole out of Random10538 over his comments on the youtube vid, “ciggy busters”. Poor bugger won’t lay down.

I suppose some will class me as a bully. Do I care. No.

Flying the instructional way.

I’ve just been sent pictures of a South African budget airlines. I do admire their livery.

kal2

More shots here

However that’s not all. You know what is like these days being assailed by boring cabin crew announcements stating the patently obvious. Well, these cabin crew do it a little bit differently. Excepts below.

Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg .  Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
               
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
                 
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."
                 
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."
                 
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
                

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone  voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 
                 
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
                

From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
                 
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
                 
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."
                 
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an  emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
                

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.    Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."
                 
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
                

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The  flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
                 
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
                 
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
                

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am,"
said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said,
"Did we land, or were we shot down?"
                 
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."
                 
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
               
Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
             
A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.  While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A   passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!" 

Aaaw

video

Friday, 20 August 2010

Oil on the beach again

video

Caution: Contains bare flesh

Ciggy Busters the movie is back

If you don’t know the context read my previous post here.

 

 

Why Beer is good for you

All these famous people can’t be wrong

BEER  - The source of life

 

beer

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. 
When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
                                Lyndon B. Johnson
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
                                Paul Horning
                                ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?  I think not."
                                H. L.. Mencken
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we drink, we get drunk.

When we get drunk, we fall asleep.

When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.

When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.

So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
                                George Bernard Shaw
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
                                Benjamin Franklin
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.

Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,

but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
                                Dave Barry
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Remember "I" before "E," except in
Budweiser.
                                Professor Irwin Corey
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group  -Salvation in a can!
                                Leo Durocher
                                ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. 

Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.

If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work

and their dreams would be shattered.

I think, It is better to drink this beer and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
                                Babe Ruth
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BEER: HELPING UGLY PEOPLE HAVE SEX SINCE 3000 B.C.!
                                W. C. Fields
                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thursday, 19 August 2010

The attack on smokers begins in earnest.

So now a school is teaching children that is right to attack smokers by stealing their cigarettes.

I’m afraid to say that it happened in my own county of Kent.

The sixth formers from The Hundred of Hoo Comprehensive School are taking direct action against smokers on high streets around the area, to produce material for a short anti-smoking film.

The instigator of this disgusting idea was Film director Margherita Gramegna - the artist in residence at the school.

Her reasoning,

“The final idea was to go out and literally ambush smokers and take their cigarettes off them. The adverts don’t work, so we are going to make you stop smoking.”

Well let me tell you this. If they’d  tried it on me I would probably be in jail now for assault.

See the whole disgusting episode below. Or not, as they have now removed the video.

 

Hitler would be so proud.
If you wish to write to her the address is margheritagramegna@yahoo.co.uk

I don’t believe it.

bear-article_1555847c

 

As my one reader will note I’m somewhat of a skeptic/denier (insert ad Hominem attack here), when it comes to man made Global warming.

For those who would disagree, I give you a little pamphlet for you to read. Then have a think whether you have been conned or not. Make up your own mind.

The Skeptics Handbook 11.

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

Will they, won’t they.

sellafield

 

An article hidden away in The Daily Mail (I’m sorry), caught my eye today. John Bolton, the former U.S. ambassador to the UN has brought up a subject that has slipped from public view. In his article he considers that Israel has only three days in which to launch an attack on the Iranian reactor at Bushehr. The reason being that the reactor will be loaded with nuclear fuel on Saturday.

The question really is, will Israel mount a pre-emptive strike to prevent Iran being able, in the future to manufacture nuclear weapons? They have done it before.

A little less information please Apple.

ipod

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

What do you think?

Can you think of a suitable caption for the picture below?

 

currygirl

1. Everyone stands quietly as Susan magically hovers above the mud.

2. God damned hippies...

3. Next event in the 2012 Olympics, black velvet painting skeet-shoot.

4. This is when everyone realized Eve's love of tomato soup had gone too far.

5. There is no spoon.

5. Jesus Powers: ACTIVATE!

6. Hover boobs, the worlds greatest invention.

6. Red bull...gives you wings....

7. THE GUY IN THE BACK IS NOT WEARING PANTS!!!!

8. This is how the villagers find out if you are a witch...

9. "God dammit Criss, you mind freak. I said it's not you it's me!!"

10. "Screw you guys, im flyin home!"

11. To say Becky has a fondness for Buffalo wing sauce is an understatement.

12. Reversed michael jackson surgery in 3,2,1,...

13. In winter the River Curry froze over, making for excellent nipple skating.

14.I will catch the bridal bouquet!

15. I believe I can fly!

16. LEAVE ME ALONEE

17.What if she farted

18. I believe i can fly!!! she can plane under the mood.

In the poo

Ten people were injured, one seriously, after a passenger train collided with a sewage tanker in Suffolk.

Monday, 16 August 2010

Permission slip.

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,current medical report from your doctor and personal recommendation from your clergy.

NAME______________________

DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT_______ WEIGHT________ IQ______ BMI_________

NHI #___________

DRIVERS LICENSE #__________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS____________________

CITY___________ POST CODE______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A camper with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?

______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend
___________________________________________________

How often you attend
________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
Vicar? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.


A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
____________________________________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
____________________________________________________

C: A woman’s place is in the:
____________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
____________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
____________________________________________________
G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE,  & RED HOT POKERS.

_________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

__________________________________________

Mother’s Signature _________________________

Father’s Signature___________________________

Vicar/Priest/Rabbi_________________________ 

MP/Council Member________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

NOTE: Do NOT apply if you haven’t read the rules here.

Now from wind to Solar

solar panel

Ever been accosted by a solar power salesman and advised that solar panels on your roof will save you a fortune on your energy bill? Well I’ve just had one of these charlatans cold call me. Luckily I remembered some facts and figures and sent him off with his tail between his legs

The facts and figures came from an article in The Indy a while back. The article was discussing research carried out by the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors on the feasibility of mast mounted wind turbines and Photovoltaic panels on private dwellings.

Now for all you greenies that might read this, and think that you must have one of those, try this for size.

Photovoltaic (PV) panels for power – and domestic, mast-mounted wind turbines – will take between 50 and 100 years to pay back.

Of course those most likely to gain from this idiocy spouted the usual nonsense.

The solar power industry accused Rics of failing to take account of the rising cost of energy and other financial benefits of renewable power in its figures. Jeremy Leggett, of Solar Century, said: "They are grossly irresponsible."

I must have saved someone some money from this article. That’s my good deed for the year day then.

Sandwell council. Again.

Sheila Martin, 70, was smoking at a bus stop when a warden pounced and handed her the £75 fixed penalty for……………

What offence did she commit?

Mugged a child for his/her sweetie money?

Spitting?

Feeding the ducks? (This has already happened in Sandwell)

Farting in public?

Taking photographs?

Assaulting a traffic warden?

Running her house keys down the side of a bus?

I could go on.

No she dropped her cigarette ash. Not her cigarette, just the ASH.

What’s more because she refuses to pay the penalty she could face a fine of £2,500.

When will they butt out of our lives? sanctimonious pricks.

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Another health puritan

My bloody dentist.

All he seems able to do is bang on about me giving up smoking. last thing I knew dentists were not doctors, so why is he banging on about it?

 

old-school-smoke-ads-10

Has their been some incentive given to dentists to coerce their patients to give up smoking?

Smoking remains the largest single preventable cause of death and disability in the UK and costs the NHS £1.7 billion each year.1 More than 120,000 people die prematurely due to smoking related diseases. Worldwide smoking is the single most important public health problem. The detrimental effects of smoking and tobacco use on oral health are well recognised. Oral cancers and pre-cancers, periodontal diseases and poor wound healing are the most significant and serious effects of smoking on the mouth.2, 3 In addition, staining of the teeth, soft tissue changes and halitosis are aesthetic and social impacts of smoking directly related to oral health.

No, but they are subjected to the same brain washing as other health service “professionals”. The paragraph above is from the British dental journal.

I wouldn’t mind so much if I was getting treatment under the NHS. However I have been forced to go private due to the dearth of NHS funded dentists in my area. Therefore he can shut the fuck up in future, otherwise I shall take my money elsewhere.

And what the fuck is:

Background Smoking is correlated with a large number of oral conditions such as tooth staining and bad breath.

Answers on a post card to ”Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells” as he seems to be the biggest winger in the country.

Friday, 13 August 2010

Spooky

13

I had a text message from Orange stating that my new phone will be arriving between 13.06 and 14.06 today.

I’ve just received an Email from another company that is delivering my new TV stand. What time have they given? You’ve guessed it. 13.06 to 14.06.

And it is Friday the 13th. Coincidence?

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Wednesday, 11 August 2010

Way to go girl.

This is the way to resign from your Office job.

lead-girl-quit

Just pop over HERE to see the whole sequence, including how to demolish your boss’s credibility with a whiteboard.

H/T to Mr Eugenides

Well done Piers.

Piers Corbyn being aggressively interviewed by a British interviewer on Russian TV. Piers is having nothing to do with the assertion that the fires in Russia are caused by Climate Change.

“The climate has always been changing, but it has nothing to do with man,” Corbyn told RT. “In fact we predicted that there will be extreme heat in Russia and eastern Europe. It's caused by circulation patterns, caused by a combination of solar activity and the phases of the moon.”

http://rt.com/Top_News.html#

For some reason I couldn’t embed the clip.

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

It’s sprung a leak.

This time it is a leaked letter from the Director general of finance at the Ministry of Justice.

About 15,000 jobs are at risk as the Ministry of Justice slashes £2 billion from its £9 billion budget, a union has warned.

About time to.Do they really need 80,000 staff to fulfill their duties? We managed with far less in the past.

Of course the unions have seized on this and are predicting an army of criminals will be let loose and the courts will be closed.

In fact they may well be getting off lightly, as the figure is at the low end of the cuts needed in the governments attempt to slash spending.

Read the rest HERE.

Expect more leaks as the bloated Civil Service, finally realise that they are going to have to emerge into the real world.

Monday, 9 August 2010

I shouldn’t. But what the heck

Maybe I shouldn’t take the piss out of global warming alarmists. But….

My Wanker of the week.

Giannasi

Andy Giannasi, the member of ACPO who has been designated the 'lead' in road's policing has decried the wind down of 'Safety' Cameras.

However.

Figures made available by SafeSpeed show an impressive 35% decrease in deaths from 1978 to 1988. The spiraling number of deaths continued to decrease during the pre speed camera years until cameras were introduced in the early to mid 1990's. In fact, since the mid 1990's the number of deaths has stayed about the same which is proof, over a 10 year period, that speed cameras do not save lives. If planting 5000 cameras on the streets and issuing over 7 million fines since 1992 really worked then we would have seen the number of road deaths continue to fall, but they've just stayed the same. The question is, why haven't fatalities continued to decrease since cameras were introduced?

Comment: The finger of blame is clearly pointing at the cameras and those who support them. If it weren't for advances in vehicle safety design and medical treatment then casualties would have increased considerably since cameras were introduced.

Less than 4% of accidents are caused by exceeding the speed limit according to new data (page 41) published by the Department of Transport. This destroys the government's claim that 1/3 of accidents are speed related. The facts publicised by Safespeed shows the breakdown of the causes of accidents from 13 police forces from 2001:

Cause of Accident
% of Accidents

Inattention:
25.8%

Failure to judge other person's path or speed:
22.6%

Looked but did not see:
19.7%

Behaviour: careless/thoughtless/reckless:
18.4%

Failed to look:
16.3%

Lack of judgment of own path:
13.7%

Excessive speed:
12.5%

Utter Tosh from this ACPO indoctrinated Tosser. It would be a lot safer to have more traffic police on our roads to catch those who are under the influence of drink/drugs, driving badly, no licence, no insurance, driving badly maintained cars, etc.

Note: Then again it would be even better if we had any type of Policeman on our streets.

Offshore wind farms. It’s worst than we thought.

 

20030924                      Picture by Ant Upton ©
GV's of North Hoyle Offshore Wind Farm
Alex Tritten and Jo Wilson
This image is copyright Anthony Upton 2003©. 
+44(0) 207978 1459 and the author is asserting his full Moral Rights in relation to the publication of this image. All rights reserved.
Rights for onward transmission of any image or file is not granted or implied.  
Changing or deleting Copyright Information is illegal as specified in the Copyright,Design and Patents Act 1988.

If you’ve read my previous posts,( HERE and HERE), you’ll be aware I’m not to keen on these machines due to their high operation and maintenance costs. I was made aware that the life of a wind turbine was only 6 to 8 years rather than the frequently quoted 20 year lifespan.

However I came on these little gems which I link to at the bottom of this post if you really would like to read it all.

This is underlined by an analysis of maintenance records, which shows that while service teams for offshore wind farms are supposed to make two scheduled maintenance visits every year, unscheduled visits to many installations are made 20 times a year.

And,

The heart of the problem is that the technology being used offshore is generally onshore technology that has not been modified sufficiently to meet the different demands of an offshore environment.

The classic example of this is the disaster at the Horns Rev wind farm in 2005, following which Vestas is reported to have removed and repaired 80 of its V90 models, designed for offshore use, owing to the effect of salty water and air on the generators and gearboxes, which became corrupt after only two (My emphasis)  years. A similar procedure has been reported this year, with Vestas' 30 turbines requiring a change of rotor bearings, at an estimated cost of €30m.

Have they produced any meaningful power in this time?

And don’t get me started on gearbox failure.

As an ex marine engineer I could have told them the previous. (Providing they’d paid me a large six figure salary of course).

The rest is HERE. have a read.

Sunday, 8 August 2010

Offshore wind turbines. The true costs of O & M

Now as you know I’ve been trying to find facts and figures about the true costs of operation and maintenance of these modern follies.

Nowhere can I find any hard and fast figures from any site. Although I have gleaned a few worrying statistics.

I can’t give you where I’ve got these facts from as they are covered by copyright. Why, I’m not sure,as these considerations should be in the public domain.

The O & M costs are double or triple original projected figures.

Also there is a –21% change in wind farm return on investment. Notice the minus.

$0.027/kWh is the latest projected O & M cost. Early estimates were $0.005/kWh. A vastly increased cost.

Again I find that the shelf life of these turbines is down from 20 years to 6 to 8 years.

And that twat Huhne still wants to build hundreds of these bird mincing, inefficient, monstrosities.

That’s all the info I can give you. If anyone would like the full report it costs a staggering $1495.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

Usury

From Wikipedia:

“In common usage today, the word means the charging of unreasonable or relatively high rates of interest.”

How can a company like WONGA.com be allowed to charge such rates.

Our flexible, short term service comes with a Typical 2689% APR.

FFS. I think 17.5% on my credit card is bad enough

I pity the poor buggers, that have recourse to resort to this type of borrowing.

£400 for 20 days will set you back £85.49 in interest and fees.

I used to participate on a forum claiming back exorbitant credit card penalties. It really hurt to see how some people were almost driven to suicide by the fact that their debt spiralled out of control.

But Wonga takes the biscuit in exploitation.

Friday, 6 August 2010

Smokefree Twattery

What a heap of shite the council produce. Here from the council’s web site. So I’ve duly filled it in and sent it off to them.

Smokefree Homes Award Promise

“Congratulations”

To make our home a healthier place to live we are making ours a smokefree home

 
1. How many children live at this address?
Aged 0 to 5  10Aged 6 to 16 20 Aged 16+ 20

2. Number of smokers in the house? ___50_____________

3. Would you like a ‘stop smoking advisor’ to contact you?
Yes No YES. But He/She may not return

4. Would you like the Kent Fire & Rescue Service to carry out a FREE Home Fire Safety Visit?
Yes No Yes. But see above. I suggest he brings a few mates with him.

5. Before making your promise, where was smoking allowed in your house?

Nowhere Only in one room
In most rooms Everywhere


6. Where did you hear about the ‘Smoke Free Homes Award’?

Tonbridge & Malling Borough Council Local school
Stop Smoking Service Kent Fire and Rescue
Other. Ouija board

_______________________________________________
Mr Mrs Ms Miss Initials___T.H.E______

Surname ___FilthyEngineer___________________________________________
Address ___No.1 Blogsville Terrace

TN991TWAT____________________________________________
Postcode


Telephone number (essential)

__01732 844522*__________________________
Email
address___Filthy@engineer.co.uk_______________________________________
Important


Your information may be shared with our partners (e.g. West Kent Primary CareTrust) for monitoring purposes only.

No mailshots will be sent.
If you agree to this please tick the box. x

I hope they just try. *Oh and that’s their switchboard number.

Another Quango for the chop please.

ciggie

 

The Kent Alliance on Smoking and Health (KASH).

A group funded by the NHS and they want to do this:

SMOKING could be banned in every public park and sports ground in the Tonbridge area.

The Kent Alliance on Smoking and Health wants councils across Kent to stop people from lighting up at venues which are aimed at children and families.

It means people found smoking at Tonbridge Farm, Tonbridge Racecourse and the neighbouring Haysden Country Park could face on-the-spot fines, and court, for flouting the rules.

The document was backed by Kent County Council this week and Tonbridge and Malling Borough Council said it was "carefully considering" the Kent Tobacco Control Strategy – which aims to have a smoke-free county by 2014.

Bastards.

And at the bottom of the article I read this:

The borough council's stance is in line with its pioneering of the Smokefree Homes Award system, introduced in January 2009, in which holders pledge to keep homes and cars free of smoke at all times.

I pledge to smoke in my own property incessantly from now on.

And of course there is the usual “Think of the Cheeeeldren.

Read the whole article in Thisiskent. They have a vote, which so far is 100% against this twattery

*Notice to self. Remember to take blood pressure pill*

Quiz complete

Bucko wins again.

“Did she take her helmet off and get pulled for that?
I zoomed in on the first piccy and she doesn't seem to be wearing it.”

bike3

Yep. No helmet.

Thursday, 5 August 2010

FE’s observation quiz round. Supplementary question.

What law had she broken?

The winner in Fe’s observation quiz.

And the winner of the round is………….

Bucko

bike2

 

Educated guess Bucko?

FE’s quiz. Observation round.

Why did the Police pull over this biker? (behind the police car).

bike1

 

Answer in next post. But guess away.

Police brutality

Police pulled over Robert Whatley, 70, for not wearing a seat belt as he drove through country lanes in South Wales. The 8-mile chase started after officers tried to give Mr Whatley a fixed penalty notice but he drove off.

Fair enough he was breaking the law. However it doesn’t justify what happened next. Look at the speed in the bottom right of the clip. Nowhere does he break the national speed limit. (Unless overnight it has been reduced to 40 MPH). He certainly doesn’t appear to be trying to escape.

 

 

 

Read the rest of the account here. Tell me what you think.

Quote of the day

The British Constitution
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours?

It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it any more.

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Well blow me down with a wind turbine.

fireworks

 

This blog normally has between 100 to 200 hits per day.

I write an article on the cost of maintenance of offshore Bird Mincers  wind turbines and see my visitor count approach 1,000.

Thanks to all of you that read my ramblings, and thanks to Richard at EU Referendum for giving this humble blogger a mention.

Yoga and Drinking.

Now I’m an expert at the drinking bit. Not sure if I want to try  Yoga. Looks decidedly painful.

 

Savasana
Position of total relaxation.

yoga1

Balasana
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm. 

yoga2

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.

yoga3

Marjayasana
Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column.  

yoga4

Halasana
Excellent for back pain and insomnia.  

yoga5

Dolphin
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms. 

yoga6

Salambhasana
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.

yoga7

Ananda Balasana
This position is great for massaging the hip area.

yoga8

Malasana
This position, for ankles and back muscles. 

yoga9

Bird Mincers part 2

1332-wind-turbine-gearbox-reliability

Further to my investigation into the maintenance and lifespan of offshore wind turbines I find some disturbing information revealing that all is not as is publicised in the MSM.

The Media has been regurgitating that the lifespan of a turbine will be 20 years. Perhaps not, going by this statement.

Recently, Sandy Butterfield, a former chief wind turbine engineer at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory (NREL) in Colorado, was quoted as stating that the wind industry expects today's gearboxes to last 7–11 years. This markedly contrasts with the 20-year design lifetime of the wind turbines. And the implications for the industry are huge, since changing a gearbox is typically a lengthy and extremely costly exercise.

Replacing a wind turbine gearbox involves primarily the gearbox cost itself, which typically represents around 10% of the total wind turbine cost. On top of this expense, must be added its transportation to site, crane rental and mobilisation cost, and the man-hours spent on the replacement. It means that the value can quickly reach about €200,000 – €500,000, depending on the turbine size and the wind farm's location.

Not quite what we are led to believe. Of course they are now attempting to build direct drive turbines in order to do away with a gearbox completely.

However.

Some manufacturers have chosen to move to direct drive to reduce the number of moving parts in the wind turbine more exposed to wear. But this has led to wind turbine specific generator designs that are usually more expensive and often come together with a long-term maintenance contract with the Original Equipment Manufacturer (OEM), which does not necessarily meet the operations and maintenance (O&M) concept of flexibility expected by customers.

So now they are going to be even more expensive to build. Though at least one manufacturer is trying a different tack to the conventional thinking on turbine design. Alstom Pure Torque system

SOURCE

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

Problems problems

I'm having problems with Windows Live Writer at the moment. Blogging will be light.

Monday, 2 August 2010

Greek smoking ban

There is no way the Greeks will be able to control their economy and meet the terms of the bailout by the EEC and the IMF. They can't even enforce the No Smoking regulations ! 
The  new law bans smoking in eateries since 7/1/09.
Look  how many cigarettes are in the ashtray in  this restaurant ... 
greek
Hey! 
Look  in the ashtray, the ashtray - the ashtray!

Sunday, 1 August 2010

Offshore wind turbines revisited.

Further to my post about these bird mincers, nowhere can I find actual costs of maintenance. All I find is statements such as this:

6.5.3    Serviceability

The service demand of the present generation of offshore wind turbines in terms of man-hours is in the order of 40 to 80 hours [7].� Service visits are paid regularly, (except in the more demanding first year) about every six months.� A more major overhaul will be undertaken every five years, and will take around 100 man hours to complete. [1].

100 man hours after 5 years of operation in a salt water environment. Utter Hogwash. It will take more than 100 man hours just to reach the turbine in question.

 

Their Scenario and assessment

Note: No hard and fast methods, just theoretical assessments.

My Scenario

Firstly you will have to open up the casing to gain access to the operating machinery. No small task if the covers are not secured by stainless steel fastenings and even then working several hundred feet above sea level has it's own risks.

Once the casing has been opened, the inspection has to be carried out.

What do you find? Oh dear, one of the main rotor shaft bearings has become damaged and requires replacing. Just by chance you have the exact spare lying around on your support vessel. Remember now you have budgeted for 100 hrs. Oh dear and now it's raining. All that water is now filling up inside the casing which houses the  machinery which comprises of a 6.6KV generator (6,600V) which abhors water. Better try and rig up a cover to protect it. Must have one in the boat somewhere. (If anyone of you have seen what a 6.6kv discharge is like, it comprises  a plasma arc at the same temperatures as the surface of the sun.)

So far we have the crew of the vessel, probably 4, at an hourly rate of say £50 per hour. A maintenance crew of 4 on average of £100 per hour. Trip to the turbine 3 hours. opening the casing 1 hour. Inspection 1 hour. Locating and lifting the bearing onto the turbine 1 hour. Securing the turbine from the effects of the weather, 1 hour. Probable time to renew bearing 24 hours. (Wildly optimistic). Insulation testing and closure 2 hours. Return to port 3 hours.

This of course does not address the problem of why the bearing failed in the first place.

And all this is in the summer months. Almost impossible for 6 months of the year.

I'm just an ex marine engineer. So what do I know?