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Monday 24 June 2013

Who does this suitcase belong to?

Suppose you opened a suitcase and found the following items in it. Who would you think it belongs to?

One pair of ladies sandals.

Four ladies dresses.

One chick lit book.

A bikini.

One yellow child swimming pool aid.

One packet of children's’ swimming nappies.

One pair of women's’ shorts.

Well you’d be wrong if you thought it was a woman’s suitcase. It was actually mine. (And no, I’m not a closet cross dresser).

I was really surprised when I checked in at Faro airport on the way back from our holiday, to find out my case was 0.7 kg overweight.

The buggers had been sneaking stuff into my case when I wasn’t looking.

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

 

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bas***d.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.