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Saturday, 29 October 2011

Saturday Stupidity


One day, in Biblical world, long after the great flood waters had died down, God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No problemo God, me old Supreme Being, anything you want, after all - you're the Man... " But, God interrupts, "there's a catch. This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

"Yep, that's right, well . .. sort of right . . this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.

"Fish?", queries Noah "Yep, fish . . well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Koi Carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Koi Carp!"

Noah looks to the skies. "OK... God me old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"


"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"


“And you want it full of Carp?".


"Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly getting increasingly worried about either the sanity of God or his own hearing...

"Dunno", says God....
"I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

That debt


greek debt

Don’t swear

A priest and a nun were taking a rare afternoon off and enjoying a round of golf.

The priest stepped up to the first tee and took a mighty swing.  He missed the ball entirely and said "Shit, I missed."

The good Sister told him to watch his language.

On his next swing, he missed again. "Shit, I missed."

"Father, I'm not going to play with you if you keep swearing,"  the nun said tartly.

The priest promised to do better and the round continued.
On the 4th tee, he misses again. The usual comment followed.

Sister is really mad now and says, "Father John, God is going to strike you dead if you keep swearing like that."

On the next tee, Father John swings and misses again.   "Shit, I missed."

A terrible rumble is heard and a gigantic bolt of lightning comes out of the sky and strikes Sister Marie dead in her tracks..
And from the sky comes a booming voice ..

"Shit, I missed."