The Stony Stratford martyr.

Listen to the high pitched whining sound

 

49 minutes in.

Another public service broadcast from TFE.

History of this story can be found HERE, and HERE

Verging on the ridiculous

This "Keep Off The Grass" warning sign is protecting possibly the tiniest strip of turf in London.

Residents in Elm Walk, Raynes Park, said the sign had become a "thing of great amusement" since the only vehicle big enough to park there is a unicycle.

But Labour-run Merton's highways department takes the issue so seriously it dispatched a two-strong crew to install it.

In other news.

The tiny piece of protected grass can be filed next to what is believed to be the country's shortest yellow line - 18 inches long - in Highbury Crescent, Highbury.

Makes you proud to be British.

Two women talking in Heaven

1st woman: Hi! Wanda.

2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die?

1st woman: I froze to death.

2nd woman: How horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer---we'd both still be alive.

 

H/T to David