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Monday, 31 May 2010

The Russian way.

The video below shows how the Russians treated the Somali pirates a few weeks ago.

They freed the hostages then blew the pirate vessel up. Complete with pirates

WARNING: Some blood.

  

H/T to the daily politics

Sunday, 30 May 2010

HaaaaHaaaaaaHaaaaaaHaaaa

A friend of ours brought her laptop over as her WiFi wasn't working. Could I have a look and see if I could fix it for her?

Well this morning I thought I'd give it a quick once over. it really was quite complicated to solve. It took me all of 20 seconds to discover that the WiFi switch at the front was in the off position.

I did say she was blonde, didn't !?

The Love of a mother.

I brought you into the world with joy and nestled your sleepy head against my breast.

I laughed with joy, when you took your first faltering steps

I clapped when you first spoke.

I cried when I left you for that first day at primary school.

I was so proud when you brought your picture of a tree and the sun, home.

I was terrified that first day that you left home to catch your bus to Big school, but hugged you for ages when you arrived home that day.

I was relieved when you passed most of your GCSE's.

I was immensely proud of you when you landed your first job.

I am so worried that you have left your job through depression.

I am heartbroken that you won't talk to me, and blame me for being the cause of your woes. I don't know what I have done wrong.

Please, my lovely daughter, do not shut out your grand parents, your brother, and friends.

I love you but don't know what to do. My heart is breaking.

A precis of a heart rending conversation I had tonight.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Going.......

It looks like David laws is going to quit.

Friday, 28 May 2010

Old Holborn has closed his Blog Comments.

I can understand that he is being inundated with crank and nasty comments, But by closing comments altogether he will alienate those that have supported him in the past. If you remember the Nick Hogan affair,

hogan

then you'll realise that it was the support in the comments that galvanised most of us to donate to the fighting fund.

So Holbie, stand up to the crease and realise that you have to take the rough with the smooth.  I do respect that you feel that you've  been driven to this course of action. But I think that you are wrong to pull down the shutters on the world , in the hope that those nasty people will go away. There  lies defeatism. "They have won".

However it's your blog, and you can do what you please. but just have a rethink. Please

UPDATE:

Comments are enabled. Well done OH for stepping up to the plate.

Mmmm

doors

Haven't seen this on the London Underground yet.

Nanny still knows best

salt

 

Another one of those "Fake Charities" sticking it's nose in again to try and justify it's existence before it's funding is cut off. (Hopefully).

Children using takeaway shops at the school gates could be consuming more fat and salt in one meal than an adult's maximum daily recommendation.

and who is it you ask? One of the old favourites.

The snapshot study, carried out by London environmental health food teams on behalf of Consensus Action on Salt and Health (Cash), will refuel fears over child obesity in London.

Of course the general public gives generously.

Its 2007/08 accounts show a total income of £213,347, of which:

  • Food Standards Agency: £23,500
  • ---
  • Total £23,500 (11% of all income)

There is no record of any voluntary donations from the public.

And we also have another Fake charity chipping (Pun with no salt) in.

The School Food Trust, established by the Department for Education, has consistently supported the use of stay-on-site policies at lunchtime, which are working well for many schools and have the backing of the majority of parents.

And we're all giving generously to this one aren't we?

Nope.

Its 2008 accounts show a total income of £8,897,000.

  • Grant in Aid (Department for Children, Schools and Families): £1,215,000
  • Capital grant (Department for Children, Schools and Families): £6,436,000
    ---
  • Total £7,651,000 (86% of all income)

All the rest of its income (£1,246,000) came from the Big Lottery Fund.

I hope they are building a big enough bonfire. It's up to the parents to decide what's best for their children.

Too long?

Just how long  do you work for?

  

H/T to Old Holborn for this.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

E mail.

cat posting

 

I've been using Thunderbird for sometime after my windows live mail decided to delete itself from my computer.

Now Thunderbird has decided that my wife's identity is too much for it. Why? I don't know.

The long and short of it was,I downloaded another free Email client (or two).

All was fine but trying to find a way of importing my Thunderbird address book into the new programme really was a challenge.

the new client seemingly has never heard of thunderbird so I had to play jigery pokery using Thunderbird, Googlemail, Gmail,( Yes I know that googlemail and Gmail are in theory the same but the new client would only recognise files from a Gmail account). And as for CSV's files that either one recognised but not another, don't get me started.

In the end I managed to import the address book.

GCHQ. Have you a place for a senior citizen cyber surfer?

P.S. Interestingly, my wife who works as a business analyst, with a multi-million pound computer programming company is baffled in to how I managed it.

PPS. WOMEN!

Who wants tickets to Glastonbury?

The festival is sold up at the minute.

However. You could win one if you really want.

 Quiz to win a ticket or six

It's a facebook quiz with five rounds. All different.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Lynn Rival. The latest

A British couple kidnapped by pirates more than six months ago have appealed to the new government for help.

Paul and Rachel Chandler, from Tunbridge Wells, Kent, were seized by Somali pirates in October while sailing from the Seychelles towards Tanzania.

In an interview with a Somali journalist filmed last weekend for ITV and Channel 4 News, Mr Chandler called on the new coalition Government to make a statement on whether or not it will assist the couple.

He said: "I would like to say 'congratulations' to David Cameron first. As the new Prime Minister we desperately need him to make a definitive public statement of the Government's attitude to us.

"As I said, we are two British citizens, we have been kidnapped in the Seychelles (Editors Note: Sorry, but the RFA Wave Knight was not operating in that area. Therefore they were not in the Seychelles) which was a perfectly safe place to be.

"If the Government is not prepared to help then they must say so because the gangsters' expectations and hopes have been raised by the thought of a new Government. There might be a different approach.

"If the Government can help, and I think they should, then we would welcome that and would they please do so.

"But either way they must make a statement so that we know where we stand."

The government can't help. It would destroy years of work done in denying terrorists a reward for their acts.

Could he be upset?

I think that Counting cats is a trifle miffed.

Jeremy Irons Is A Complete Arsehole.

Oh dear. But he does put it very well.

Cats I mean.

Stress warning.

weir mill

They say that selling a house is one of the most stressful moments in your life.

Well. I'm in the process of selling a luxury apartment in an old Mill house. It has everything going for it. Complete with gently turning mill wheel outside the sitting room windows.

I actually had a buyer interested before the property went on the market. however he couldn't anywhere near match the asking price. Oh well.

A week after the apartment went on the market a buyer popped up, made a reasonable offer, and wanted a very, very, quick completion. Oh good.

No. Not so good. His survey has just come back with a tale of woes. Subsidence, rising damp (I would expect that, as the mill stream runs under the dining area floor!), and various minor other niggles.

Where the problem lies is that I am managing the sale for two executors, as I live close by. Trying to tie up with the executors, the estate agent, the resident's association, and the conveyancing solicitor, is becoming a real headache.

Am I stressed out? Well actually, no.

I stand to gain nothing from the sale and the recipients of the money from the sale have not lifted a finger to help. Why should I hurry?

Ho Hum. Time for a drink. I wonder if I can claim that as a legitimate expense?

Fears over 'child neglect' cases

More than one in three social workers and police officers have felt powerless to intervene in cases of suspected child neglect, a survey has found.

Half said earlier intervention was needed to ensure cases of possible neglect are dealt with more effectively, according to research for the charity Action for Children.

Some 41% of the professionals said they were under greater pressure now to intervene when children are being neglected than five years ago and 16% reported encountering more cases than last year.

  More....

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Those damn pigs.

pigs1

They're always bleating oinking on about health and safety.

Please stop.

Another bloody E mail from Call me Dave has just fallen into my inbox. I've reported it as spam.

Sunny Jamaica

jamaica

 

If you do go there, steer clear of the capital, Kingston.

Jamaican police say at least 26 civilians and four members of the security forces have died as police and soldiers battle defenders of a powerful Jamaican gang leader sought by the US.

Thousands of heavily armed forces are raiding the capital's most violent down town slums in a hunt for underworld boss Christopher Coke, known as "Dudus."

Now I've had experience with the southern end of this Idyllic Isle. I was there many years ago as Officer in charge of a combined Royal Naval and Royal Fleet Auxiliary, hurricane relief team. Well, I can tell you that Kingston was just as bad then, as it is now.

The first day ashore we were tasked to try and put the roof of the Kingston General Hospital back on. Bearing in mind that we were all seafarers, not a roofer among us, this was going to be a tad daunting.

However what we were not prepared for was being attacked by the hopped up locals on our way to the project.

Needless to say on the second day we went out armed.

If you do go there stay on the North end of the Island.

Monday, 24 May 2010

At least one Government has a set of balls.

The Bulgarian Parliament passed Tuesday, at second read, the more liberal rules for smoking in public spaces and abolished for good the full smoking ban.

The smoking ban was voted by the previous Parliament and was supposed to become effective on June 1, but the current Members of the Parliament approved the amendments of the Health Care Act, proposed by the ruling Citizens for European Development of Bulgaria (GERB) party.

Smoking will now be allowed in separate smoking spaces inside restaurants, bars, coffee shops, railroad stations, airports, ports, and bus stations. In restaurants with less than 50 square meters, the owner is to decide it the establishment will be smoking or non-smoking. In office buildings, employers have the right to designate special smoking spaces. In night clubs smoking will be allowed without the requirement to have separate non-smoking places.

I can't see it happening over here. The Government is too enthralled with every bogus scientific claim made.

Global warming (Sorry,climate change now), Ash clouds, Obesity, Mobile phones, Alcohol, etc, etc.

Still. We have the great repeal bill to look forward to. Although I fear that it will tinker around the edges of our liberty.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

It would be a pity.

Frank Field is threatening to refuse to become David Cameron’s ‘poverty tsar’ after a row over whether he is being used as a ‘token’ Labour supporter of the coalition Government.

I don't know how it started but a few months ago I was in Email discussion with Mr Field over his plans for social reforms to the benefits system. in my mind he came across as one of the few politicians who actually wanted to make a difference. I quite see his position in that he can't seem to be the "Token" labour MP to be in government.

But in my eyes he would be eminently suitable for the job.

I wish you well Frank.

(And I've just carried out the Libertarian survey of my political leanings. I'm a right leaning Libertarian.)

Saturday, 22 May 2010

Damn Pikeys

Eurostar trains travelling between London and Paris were hit by delays after thieves stole copper cables used for signalling.

Oh dear.

Economics 101. World wide models

Twenty Economic Models Explained:

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM 
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND  VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using Letters of Credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing  them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

Friday, 21 May 2010

Cameron to prop up Euro.

tinfoil

 

Actually he wont at the moment. However I'll be interested to see if he quietly changes his stance when the MSM are not looking.

Strong words at the moment:

“Britain obviously is not in the euro and Britain is not going to be in the euro, and so Britain would not be agreeing to any agreement or treaty that drew us further into supporting the euro area.”

The trouble is. I just don't trust him.

Remember that referendum he promised us.

I really must take off my tinfoil hat.

Thursday, 20 May 2010

A post election split?

Although a Libertarian at heart, I'm a pragmatist. I always voted conservative in the past as I always considered their values were the most fair and just. Reward those that paid their way, whilst helping those who truly wished to better themselves.

Now I'm not so sure that the Callmedave faction is what I can support. Cameron's desire for power at any cost leaves me cold and likens him in my eyes to Blair.

All I see is another PR educated, power hungry, weak man who is totally out of his depth and will say anything to protect his position. A man with no principles or substance.

I want a true leader that is passionate about his country above all else, and is willing to die by the sword of his decisions if necessary.

I predict that the true conservatives in the party will soon become disaffected and turn on him within the year.

I just hope that I'm wrong and cameron gets a set of balls. I fear that I'll be disappointed.

I'd like to be proved wrong.

I despair

My wife has taken to washing the clothe pegs in the dishwasher.

What next? hang the dishes on the line? You tell me.

That Olympic mascot

It would appear that the general public like a piss take.

Within hours of London 2012 unveiling its much-awaited Olympic mascot Wenlock and his Paralympic partner Mandeville to the world, a series of one-eyed impersonators popped up in cyberspace.

burberry-mascot415

Wielding a bottle of beer, a fake-Burberry clad character is the mascot of the “Chavlympics”

and

Olympics2012

There's even a Hitler!

H/T to

B3ta

A Quango bites the dust

About time to.

The Government Office for London will be scrapped under government plans set out today.

The responsibility for security and taxation will be clawed back by other departments or devolved to the Mayor. Ministers have indicated the move will save £15 million a year as part of wider Whitehall cost-cutting.

But of course labour don't agree.

But Labour said London was in danger of slipping down the Government's list of priorities. Shadow minister for London Tessa Jowell said: “I'm sure Londoners will want to know which department and how issues such as security, taxation and other areas of major policy that are not devolved to the Mayor will be delivered in their interests.

Another power base draining away.

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

A bit of charity and.....

As you will have seen in my side bar there is a widget in support of Cold Steel Rain and his parachute jump for the charity Combat Stress.

Now I've been in various wars/conflicts and know what it can do to the minds of some of those involved.

Even if you can only spare a £1, it all helps.

Hopefully if he raises the money we can see a video of him squealing like a girl when he does the jump.

Our armed forces need your's and my support.

Give me strength. Is this the best they can do?

I despair. They're spending £12 billion plus on this shite.

Two alien-like creatures called Mandeville and Wenlock have been unveiled as mascots for London 2012 Games.

Going all-out for child appeal, London 2012 organisers created a cartoon and signed up best-selling children's writer Michael Morpurgo (Never heard of him)to build a background story for the abstract characters.

olympic

London 2012 said it cost "a few thousand pounds" to create the designs but would not release a figure.

Multiply by ten then. FOI request maybe?

It gets worse:

Wenlock and Mandeville come complete with their own Twitter and Facebook sites plus their own website at www.london2012.com/mascots.

Go there and go to hell.

I'm going to lie down with a stiff drink.

Bloody hell. A Judge that has commonsense!

You remember the teacher that has been in the news lately for assaulting a boy with a Pritt stick.

Lynda May, 54, an art teacher at a school in South Wales, was alleged to have injured the 12-year-old boy by slamming a Pritt Stick down on his thumb.

The good news is that she has been acquitted.

Mrs May whispered “Thank you” to Judge John Diehl when he told her: “You can leave the dock.” She then broke down in tears.

Of course the lad is blameless:

“He was a child with special needs, in particular learning difficulties and behavioural problems.

This is usually the excuse for a child that has been brought up in a family that can't be bothered to discipline their offspring or teach him right from wrong.

I mean how come he was allowed to speak like this:

Shortly before the incident he had told Mrs May “F*** off, I don’t f***ing have to”

I rest my case M'Lud.

Global warming is back in Kent courtesy of the BBC.

heron

 

BBC southeast were banging on about a pair of purple herons that had arrived and were nesting. Of course this was due to the rapidly rising temperatures caused by global warming. Bearing in mind that it was the hottest day of the year I bet they think they are on to a winner.

In the report they managed to get the hat trick of "Global warming", "Sea level change", and "climate change", all into the same 2 minute interview.

Oh and of course my tax money is being squandered as well.

A round-the-clock "species protection scheme" is in place to protect them.

Kent Police are helping the RSPB to monitor the nest, and officers have warned that any attempt to damage the nest or remove eggs would be a criminal offence.

Shouldn't they be arresting these illegal immigrants instead. I'm sure they run "fowl" of immigration law.

Voted for change did you?

Some of the post-coalition media comment has been annoying. These bloody pundits will keep insisting that they know why we all voted as we did. We voted for change, they say. Our vote was all about the budget deficit, they say. We are determined to have a new kind of politics, they say.


They're bloody wrong, though. Most of us think there's been a damn sight too much change in the last 13 years and would vote to put the clock back if we thought it was remotely feasible. A lot of us couldn't give a toss about the budget deficit – let's face it, we don't get much in the way of public services, the refuse-disposal Nazis and parking-wardens can all form an orderly queue at the Job Centre as soon as they like, we never see a bloody policeman and they don't come when we call, our schools are crap, and we know very well that taxes will rise and rise whatever we think, because they always have. The only people who will really feel the pinch are young couples who can't get a mortgage, and the greedy sods who caused all this fuss in the first place – and we don't mean the bankers, but the ordinary people who thought it was their God-given right to have a five-bed house with three loos and a jacuzzi, a Beamer and a 4x4 in the drive, and three foreign holidays a year, and couldn't see why borrowing fifty times their annual income might not have been entirely sensible.
And “a new kind of politics”? Don't make me laugh. All that will mean is abolishing hereditary peers, most of whom went to the right kind of school and have outmoded ideas of fair play, stiff upper lip and that sort of rot, and filling their places with unsavoury big-mouths like Baroness Uddin.


No, now that the excitement and uncertainty has died away, it's still all bollocks and we can't afford to relax for a moment. The government may be making the right noises about ID cards, DNA databases and the like, but we can take it as read that the faceless suits who wield the real power will hang on till the bitter end. We still need to kick off about every abuse, expose every bully, raise a voice about every new absurdity. The only difference is that the MPs we'll be writing to are, on the whole, a bit younger. Let's hope they came out of our rotten school system able to read our letters (oh no, silly me, most of them went to public schools so that's all right).

Monday, 17 May 2010

Caught in the act. Cathanded.

beckham toilet paper

My daughter's kitten, Beckham.

Stop Press. Macbeth and his wife found not Guilty of murder.

I found this amusing.

In a final twist that would make Shakespeare turn in his grave Macbeth and his wife have been found not guilty of murdering King Duncan and Banquo.

That was the verdict of a one-night-only mock trial at the Royal Courts of Justice in which the case against the couple was examined with actors playing the defendants, judge and key witnesses.

Read on

Men can Multitask

video

Sunday, 16 May 2010

No posting Today.

It's a drink and be merry day instead.

Saturday, 15 May 2010

The difference a year makes.

rfaship

Last year in May. I was working on a ship.

The ship was on anti piracy patrol of Somalia before heading out to the far East.

Pros:

30 deg C and blue seas.

Earning Oodles of Money.

Cons:

No smoking inside. Only a small area at the aft end of the ship to smoke.

H & S going mad. If you work for the government they take it to the nth degree.

Every 4th day being duty engineer for 24 hours. At the beck and call of a computerised monitoring system.

An alcohol limit that would have Don Shenker cheering from the touchline.

An Engine room temperature of 40 deg C.

Gunnery practice. That's the smoking deck out of bounds.

Training. Have you ever tried to explain to the average sailor why a fire drill is a good thing?

Frigates that want fuel at 0600. Can't they wait till after breakfast?

Frigates that want fuel at 2100. Can't they wait till tommorrow.

No mobile phone signal.

No access to the internet.

This year in may. I'm retired.

Pros:

Smoke where I want.

Drink what I want, when I want.

My rules.

Not a ship in sight.

Cons:

Less money. Enough for my simple needs though.

The weather.

The Wife.

Friday, 14 May 2010

Really?

WTF.

Win Fantastic Prizes, See Westlife Live, And Go To Hell!

That was the title of an Email in my inbox. Turns out it was just Sky advertising a concert and a TV programme!

They can’t stop, can they?

The sooner there are publically accountable sheriffs the better it will be.

Security guards in the City of London have been instructed by police to report people acting suspiciously by taking photographs near buildings.

They really must think that terrorists are going to be so stupid as to take photos of their targets overtly. Of course they’re not going to.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Please spare us from bearded lefties.

Rowan360_663953a

 

That arch leftie, Dr Rowan Williams (Archtosspot of Canterbury), thinks we are wrong to put a cap on immigrants.

Dr Williams said that those who feared new arrivals showed “confusion” and a “lack of proper confidence” in society’s ability to learn.

Now you may live in splendour in your palace, Rowan. However the rest of us have to live in the real world where the pressure of housing, services, schools, etc, are being pushed to breaking point.

Fuckwit.

 

SOURCE

Blogger libel case thrown out of court.

Now I would never normally read Dave Osler's left wing blog. However when a crackpot decides to pursue a libel case because of comments on his blog, then I  feel some sympathy with him.

A political activist today failed in her libel action over a journalist’s blog which referred to her “Baader-Meinhof" link.

In a ruling that gives bloggers some protection against libel actions, Mr Justice Eady rejected a claim by Johanna Kaschke , a Tower Hamlets-based Conservative, against David Osler, a Labour Party member, over an article that was written in April 2007.

Ms Kaschke claimed that some of the comments linked her with terrorism. The judge at the High Court in London, however, struck out the claim as an abuse of process.

 

The Times

Justice has been served. But be careful out there. It could be you next.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

The deal.

Whilst I think that the Con/Lib agreement has some merit. I think that this part really should be put on hold, or preferably consigned to the dustbin.

 

The parties agree to implement a full programme of measures to fulfil our joint ambitions for a low carbon and eco-friendly economy, including:

  • The establishment of a smart grid and the roll-out of smart meters.
  • (Another snooping device)
  • The full establishment of feed-in tariff systems in electricity – as well as the maintenance of banded ROCs.
  • (Will be heavily subsidised)
  • Measures to promote a huge increase in energy from waste through anaerobic digestion.
  • (Fair enough, but who's going to build them and where?)
  • The creation of a green investment bank.
  • (More scope for troughing. Remember those carbon credits?)
  • The provision of home energy improvement paid for by the savings from lower energy bills.
  • (How mamy years does it take to recoup that?)
  • Retention of energy performance certificates while scrapping HIPs.
  • When I asked my EPC assessor about coefficients of heat transfer he looked at me as if I was a swivel eyed loon from the planet Zog)
  • Measures to encourage marine energy.
  • (Vastly expensive to construct and maintain)
  • The establishment of an emissions performance standard that will prevent coal-fired power stations being built unless they are equipped with sufficient CCS to meet the emissions performance standard.
  • (Expect the lights to start going our by 2015)
  • The establishment of a high-speed rail network.
  • (Why do we need that?)
  • The cancellation of the third runway at Heathrow.
  • (All the future revenue will go to Europe)
  • The refusal of additional runways at Gatwick and Stansted.
  • (Ditto)
  • The replacement of the Air Passenger Duty with a per flight duty.
  • (Both are iniquitous general taxation)
  • The provision of a floor price for carbon, as well as efforts to persuade the EU to move towards full auctioning of ETS permits.
  • (Mmm. Must try to jump on this gravy train)
  • Measures to make the import or possession of illegal timber a criminal offence.
  • (Difficult to enforce unless trees have "Legal" all through them like Brighton rock)
  • Measures to promote green spaces and wildlife corridors in order to halt the loss of habitats and restore biodiversity.
  • (Ah. One to appease the treehuggers)
  • Mandating a national recharging network for electric and plug-in hybrid vehicles.
  • (You may need to build some more of those coal fired power stations to satisfy the demand)
  • Continuation of the present Government’s proposals for public sector investment in CCS technology for four coal-fired power stations; and a specific commitment to reduce central government carbon emissions by 10 per cent within 12 months.
  • (And I thought that we were broke)
  • We are agreed that we would seek to increase the target for energy from renewable sources, subject to the advice of the Climate Change Committee.
  • (You could save money and hot air by not having the committee in the first place)
Liberal Democrats have long opposed any new nuclear construction. Conservatives, by contrast, are committed to allowing the replacement of existing nuclear power stations provided they are subject to the normal planning process for major projects (under a new national planning statement) and provided also that they receive no public subsidy.
We have agreed a process that will allow Liberal Democrats to maintain their opposition to nuclear power while permitting the government to bring forward the national planning statement for ratification by Parliament so that new nuclear construction becomes possible.
This process will involve:
  • the government completing the drafting of a national planning statement and putting it before Parliament;
  • Specific agreement that a Liberal Democrat spokesman will speak against the planning statement, but that Liberal Democrat MPs will abstain; and
  • clarity that this will not be regarded as an issue of confidence

 

Any way what do I know? I'm just an Engineer

Oh Dear.

I'm probably going to go straight to hell. I couldn't help but laugh when I read this.

Councillor killed in fall from tree

A councillor for the Green Party has died after falling out of a tree, it has been disclosed.

*Snigger*

Thanks Dave

I have received this in my E mail this morning. Glad that all my efforts have been appreciated.

Dear Filthy Engineer,

Thank you for all your patience over these past few days. I know that you must have found it frustrating not knowing exactly what was going on while negotiations continued. However, the great news is that after 13 years, our party is back in government.

So first, I want to thank again for all your hard work and dedication, not just over the past few weeks but over the past few years. I literally could not have done this without you. We can be immensely proud of how far we have come from our defeat in 2005.

We have seen the election of nearly 100 extra MPs, we have gained more seats than in any election since 1931 and we are now the party of government once again. No-one should underestimate the scale of our achievement in such a short space of time, and it would not have been possible without your support and commitment to the cause.

Second, I want to tell you what I can about the agreement we have made with our new partners in government, the Liberal Democrats. As I said after the election last week, more than anything else Britain needs strong, stable and decisive government at this point in our history. And it was in the national interest that we achieved this on a secure basis.

This is why I made a big, open and comprehensive offer to the Liberal Democrats last Friday. I signalled, from the very start of the negotiations, that we had to respect the verdict of the electorate and work together to find solutions to the profound problems facing our nation: the debt crisis, our deep social problems and our broken political system.

Today, we have achieved this much-needed agreement, overcoming political differences to forge a new government in the national interest. Of course, we must recognise that all coalitions are about compromise. This one is no different. And I want to take this opportunity to reassure about what was agreed.

The agreement commits the next government to a significantly accelerated reduction in the budget deficit, to cut £6 billion of government waste this financial year and to stop the jobs tax. The agreement also allows us to carry out key elements of the reform agenda we outlined in our manifesto - an agenda vital to turning our country round - including welfare and school reform. Moreover, we have protected our nuclear deterrent. And there will be no amnesty for illegal immigrants, nor the handover of any additional powers to the EU.

Of course, the agreement also reflects the key priorities and objectives of the Liberal Democrats. This includes fairer funding in education, a fairer tax system and political reform - including a referendum on changing the voting system to the alternative vote.

But the past few days have not just been about compromise. What was clear as talks progressed is the common ground between the Conservatives and Liberal Democrats. And that is displayed in this agreement, with our commitment to building a green economy, decentralising power and protecting civil liberties - including scrapping ID cards.

We campaigned on the belief that we're all in this together - and can only solve our problems together to build a stronger, more responsible society. I am confident that the coming together of two political parties to form one strong government marks a new era for Britain and for British politics. Now, let's get down to work.

David Cameron (signature)

Prime Minister & Leader of the Conservative Party

Tuesday, 11 May 2010

Motorist returns to find yellow lines painted either side of her car - and a parking ticket

car

 

A baffled motorist was left fuming after returning to her parked car to find double yellow lines painted either side of it - and a parking ticket slapped on the windscreen.

Bungling parking officials fined June Williams yesterday despite road markings only being painted round her vehicle after she had parked.

Debt collector Mrs Williams, 58, said she has parked in the same spot on Mondays and Tuesdays near work in Wolverhampton for 18 months.

car2

 

More.......

Gordon Brown quits as PM as Lib-Dem deal falls apart

Gordon Brown is set to resign tonight and allow David Cameron to be Britain's new Prime Minister.

The Labour leader's final desperate attempt to cling on to power with a Lib-Lab deal crumbled amid a rebellion on his own side and policy disagreements with Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg.

This afternoon he retreated to No 10 to discuss his situation with senior ministers, friends and wife Sarah.

  More…….

Now I don’t know how true this is.

Baggage

Luggage has been seen outside the back of No.10.

Survey

survey

Photographer stopped under anti-terror laws may sue police

A photographer is to launch a legal complaint after being stopped and searched by police on suspicion of being a terrorist while he took pictures of London's skyline.

Grant Smith, a renowned architectural photographer, was stopped and searched under Section 44 anti-terror powers while photographing a building in the City yesterday.

At first he was stopped by security staff outside One Aldermanbury Square who told him he was not allowed to take pictures of the building.

More………

Monday, 10 May 2010

See.

8.07pm: My colleague Hélène Mulholland is on patrol in Westminster and she's just bumped into a senior Lib Dem who explained the situation like this.

The dilemma for the Liberal Democrats is that it would be easier arithmetically to do a deal with the Conservatives, but it would be easier politically to deal with Labour ... I think the mood of the party is in favour of a deal with Labour.

 

Says it all really. The sandal wearing, wind farm fanatics, never really wanted a pact with the conservatives. It was a sympathy ploy all along.

Maybe I will be proved wrong but I doubt. If I am I will do an Iain Dale and sprint  stagger drunkenly naked through the town.

*I suggest you avert your eyes as I'm not a pretty sight.*

Trafigura. Remember them?

You remember that this was the outfit that tried to bring in a super injunction to prevent their transgressions being reported in the House of commons records.

Here and Here

Well they're getting their comeuppance in the from of substantial costs against them.

A record £105 million in legal costs has been claimed by a London firm acting for the victims of the alleged dumping of toxic waste in the Ivory Coast by oil trading giant Trafigura.

The figure dwarfed the previous record of £54 million in the wake of the collapse of BCCI bank in the Nineties.

Mr Justice McDuff approved the confidential settlement in the High Court. Today he was told of the staggering figure claimed by Leigh Day and Co, which compares with Trafigura's costs of £14 million.

Occasionally justice is served.

SOURCE

A Lib Lab pact, Bring it on.

Gustave_Dore_Inferno34

 

Most people will gasp with horror at the thought. However in the long run I think that it would be the best course of action.

Yes it would mean great hardship in the coming months, and shame when the IMF is eventually called in to sort out the financial mess.

But if it means another election which sweeps labour down into the ninth circle of hell, then I'm in favour.

The Law is a joke.

If you get cases like this.

 

26-year-old Chambers will go on trial today after allegedly posting a Tweet that threatened to blow an airport 'sky high'.

Chambers, of Balby, Doncaster, denied tweeting the message about Robin Hood Airport in Doncaster on January 6.

The post was picked up by routine investigations into the site, which lead to Chambers' eventual arrest.

The alleged tweet read: 'Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week... otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!'

Twitter users have mounted a campaign to raise awareness of the trial, with #twitterjoketrial appearing high in the UK trending topics.

More....

 

 

Update: He has been found guilty and fined £1000.

Sunday, 9 May 2010

Simplistic. Maybe

Will the con/lab/libdem's get a move on. Someone has to make a statement on the economy pretty damn soon. Otherwise the markets are going to slaughter the country.

Decide on the economic issues and then put on hold discussions on the other factors such as PR to a later date.

GO.

 

gordon

Gordon still doesn’t get it. He’s lost the election but still thinks he has the right to govern.

In a defiant email to Labour Party workers thanking them for their efforts in the campaign, Mr Brown said he was determined to fight on to secure his policies for economic recovery.

"My resolve has not, and will not, change. I pledged to do everything in my power to fight for the people of this country - to secure the recovery, to protect their livelihoods and to continue to fight for a future fair for all," he said.

I just wish we had a symbolic  Berlin wall to push over. (Preferably with Gordon underneath it)

Interest rates 'expected to hold'

The Bank of England is expected to keep interest rates on hold on Monday amid uncertain political weather.

Policymakers, who delayed their meeting from last week due to the election, are expected to keep the cost of borrowing at the record low of 0.5%.

Efforts to boost the money supply are also likely to stay at their £200 billion level of quantitative easing (QE).

But the Monetary Policy Committee (MPC) will have much to consider as they conclude their two-day meeting - not least the affect of a hung Parliament on the outlook for the UK economy. More……..

Saturday, 8 May 2010

Please make him stop.

Anyone else getting this crap?

 

Dear Filthy Engineer,

From the bottom of my heart - thank you.

Thank you for voting Conservative on Thursday. Every vote counts and you helped Britain vote for change.

More than that, I want to thank you for fighting and campaigning so hard for the past few weeks. I know how hard every supporter, member and activist worked during this campaign. I know how tough and gruelling it was. I know how tired you all feel now. You'll have blisters from all the pavements you've pounded; paper-cuts from the envelopes you've stuffed; bruised knuckles from the doors you've knocked on.

But I don't want you to doubt for one minute that it has been worth it. First of all, we should be proud not just of how hard we fought, but the way we fought. Our campaign was unremittingly positive and optimistic - and that's just what our country needed.

Second, we should be proud of the results we achieved. We gained more seats than at any election since 1931. We became the largest party in the House of Commons by a considerable margin. And we got two million more votes than Labour - and indeed, more votes than Labour did when they won in 2005. The swing we achieved was massive by historic standards.

By any measure, these are really impressive results and I, the Shadow Cabinet, our MPs old and new, and all our candidates owe each and every one of you a huge thank you.

But however much pride we can take in the enormous advance, we have to accept that we fell short of an overall majority. I know how much you wanted one - I wanted one too. But now we have to work with what we have. As I have been saying these past couple of days, it is vital Britain gets strong, stable and decisive government. The challenges we face - a war in Afghanistan, the debt crisis and an economy that is stuck, deep social problems, political crisis - call for nothing less. So it is in Britain's national interest that the Conservative Party rises to this challenge and works to secure good government for our country.

That's why yesterday, I made a big, open and comprehensive offer to Liberal Democrats. I want - and I believe the country expects - our two parties to work out how we can deliver strong and stable government to tackle Britain's big and urgent problems. Right now, talks are underway. Inevitably, there will be masses of unfounded speculation in the press, but I wanted to tell you my thinking directly, and I hope I'll be able to give you direct updates as we move forward.

So first, I want to make clear that I do not believe any future government should give more powers to Brussels, be weak on immigration or put the country's defences at risk. So we will stand firm on these issues.

But I also believe there are many areas of common ground between us and the Liberal Democrats - such as the need for education reform, building a low-carbon economy, reforming our political system, decentralising power, protecting civil liberties and scrapping ID cards.

There are also areas where I believe we in the Conservative Party can give ground, both in the national interest and in the interests of forging an open and trusting partnership. For example, we want to work with the Liberal Democrats to see how we can afford to reduce taxes on the lowest paid. Of course, we hope to see a similarly constructive approach from the Liberal Democrats - not least on the urgent issue of tackling the deficit.

Inevitably, these negotiations will involve compromise. But that's what working together in the national interest means. I hope we can sort things out as quickly as possible, for the good of the country. But we won't rush into any agreement.

We've got to make sure that anything that results really is the best possible outcome for Britain - that it really is in the national interest. After all, that's what this party has always been about. That's what I'm about. And I know that's what you want, and what the country wants right now too.

Thank you.

David Cameron (signature)

 

PS. I voted UKIP

It looks like there could be a pact on the table.

The Libdem front bench team would appear to support Nick Clegg in his talks with the Tories.

Liberal Democrat MPs have endorsed leader Nick Clegg's decision to enter talks with the Conservatives over possible co-operation in forming a new government.

Mr Clegg addressed his senior frontbench team and a meeting of the party's 57 MPs in Westminster and received the "full and complete" support of both groups for his strategy, said Lib Dem negotiator David Laws.

The Liberal Democrat and Conservative negotiation teams are to meet again on Sunday morning at the Cabinet Office to continue talks after it became clear that no party had secured an outright majority in Thursday's General Election.

Get packing Gordon. Otherwise the electorate will have to send in the Bailiffs.

SOURCE

The Knives are coming out.

Now that Gordon has fled to Scotland, his supporters are starting to desert the sinking ship of the Brown government.

A newly re-elected Labour MP has called on Gordon Brown to step down as the party's leader.

Bassetlaw MP John Mann said that Labour would only have influence in the outcome of the current negotiations over the future of the government if Mr Brown agrees to give up the leadership.

And he said that the Prime Minister cost Labour votes in last week's election from people who would otherwise have supported the party's programme.

Mr Mann's comments are the first overt Labour challenge to the Prime Minister's position since the party lost 91 seats and its Commons majority in Thursday's poll.

I suspect there are all sorts of machinations going on behind closed doors. Let's see how long he lasts as leader of the labour party. I'll give him till the end of the month.

Friday, 7 May 2010

Thankyou very much.

I was much heartened by the demise from parliament of Gillian Merron.

I wrote to my MP (Useless lazy fucker) about amending the smoking ban. What I got back was a cut and pasted letter from dear Gillian stating all the wrong and statist untruths about how smoking was going to kill us all.

All in all, she deserved to go for spouting crap derived from focus groups trying to feather their own nests at our expense.

No doubt I expect we will see her on the board of ASH before long.

Will Spain and Portugal be next?

I fear that we might be in for a domino effect in the debt crisis.

Methinks I may have to remove my savings from the Banco Santander.

At least I didn't have anything in Iceland.

Thursday, 6 May 2010

My vote

Today I changed my mind.

I've always been a lifelong conservative voter. Not out of habit or because my family have always voted conservative. I've always felt that conservative policies are right for those who want to better themselves and not to be a drain on society.

Today I decided that my MP didn't deserve my vote.

1) He voted strongly for the smoking ban.

2) He voted strongly to remain in Europe.

I wrote to him about both these topics and received patronising replies on the lines of, "I know best".

Therefore Sir John Stanley. Tough shit. I voted UKIP.

Not that my vote will overturn his majority. But at least I felt better.

Shoot out at the Highgate corral.

smoking-gun

 

My daughter just phoned. She was on her way back from voting in Highgate (London) when she heard gunshots. The area is cordoned off now. Bearing in mind that this is an area of Guardian Lefties and there is an election in progress. Could it be a mass suicide attempt by the likes of Polly Toynbee and George Monbiot?

These E mails.

I have been bombarded in the last few days by E mails from the Conservative party.

So far I've had William Hague, George Osbourne, David Cameron, and now, Boris. All exhorting me to vote for the Conservative party.

Has anyone else had these?

Dear Filthy Engineer,

This is it. As I write these words Gordon Brown should be teetering on the edge of the political oblivion he so richly deserves.

One shove, one nudge, one tiny prod in the right place - and we will at last be rid of this bankrupt embarrassment of a Labour government. Just one last push and this great country will be spared another five years of Gordon Brown.

We will avoid the drift and dither of a hung parliament. We will give a Conservative government the chance to offer dynamic and energetic government and by tomorrow morning we will begin the work of undoing the damage done by Labour.

Who is there left to administer this final judicious kick to the Labour Party's ample posterior?

It could be you, FE.

If you have yet to vote - and you have five minutes to spare - I urge you and all your family and friends to get down to the polling station and play your part in history.

In an election this tight, your vote could be decisive. The boot's on your foot. For the good of our country - I urge you to use it.

Boris Johnson's signature

Boris Johnson

Too late Boris. I've already used my X.

Done

I've voted.

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

Our National heritage is under threat at this election.

Unimaginable Horror. If Labour or the Libdems get in they intend to ban Page 3 girls in the Sun! (Not that I read it of course).

MPs Harriet Harman and Lynne Featherstone will move swiftly to change the law and ban Page 3 forever.

Our national treasures - who even enjoy the Royal seal of approval from our future King Prince Charles - will be no more.

Is there anything that they won't ban?

And in the comments:

VOTE CONSERVATIVE!  VOTE TITS!

I'm not quite sure what or who the commenter is referring to.

TITS

Letterbox mouth slags off Brown.

I see that our Cherie has just slipped up and let her true feelings of Brown be known.

An enthusiastic local Labour supporter (yes, there are some left) was overheard telling Cherie at the festival that the response to her leafleting on the doorstep in the marginal seat was not good.

‘I’m very worried that Gordon is a liability for us,’ the female supporter said as Mrs Blair signed copies of Speaking For Myself at Swindon’s Wyvern Theatre.

‘Me too,’ came the reply from the mouth which has been likened to a plankton-starved basking shark that has just come off a diet.

letterbox

Mind you she's a bit late. I've been saying the same for 13 years.

SOURCE

Cameron gets a yes from Cowell

Tory leader David Cameron has won a big-name celebrity endorsement with TV talent supremo Simon Cowell declaring the Tory leader was "the prime minister Britain needs at this time".

The multi-millionaire entrepreneur, writing in The Sun newspaper, said he believed Mr Cameron had the "substance and the stomach to navigate us through difficult times".

His public endorsement will come as a disappointment to Prime Minister Gordon Brown who has often talked about his fondness for Cowell shows such as The X Factor and Britain's Got Talent.

More.....

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Who in their right mind would vote for more of this?

Vote Labour and you'll be sorry. Very sorry.

   

H/T to Tory Bear

Well done that man.

A "maverick" Labour candidate who branded Gordon Brown the "worst Prime Minister" has been unrepentant despite being disowned by his party.

North West Norfolk candidate Manish Sood hit out at Mr Brown less than 48 hours before the polls open.

Amazing. A politician that isn't going to be browbeaten. Whatever next?  Honesty in Westminster?

Nah. It'll never happen.

Peter & Gordon

If you're not easily scared, visit the Penguin.

Go!

Even Gordon's own side think he's crap.

 

dynamite

A Labour parliamentary candidate today dubbed Gordon Brown the worst Prime Minister Britain has had.

According to the Lynn News newspaper, North West Norfolk candidate Manish Sood said: "Immigration has gone up which is creating friction within communities. The country is getting bigger and messier.

Where have you been for the last thirteen years mate?

Coming so close to the election, Mr Sood's comments will come as a major blow to Mr Brown's bid to win a fourth term for Labour.

Oh I do hope so.

I wonder if the BEEB will pick up on this? I'm not holding my breath.

 

SOURCE

'The first punch came, landing on my nose, sending blood down my face'

'Independent' reporter Jerome Taylor relives his bloody experience on the trail of voting fraud in east London.

blood

When I look back on it now what surprises me is how disarmingly polite my attackers were.

"What are you doing?" asked one of the two, seemingly inquisitive, Asian teenagers who approached me on a quiet cul-de-sac in Bow, east London, shortly after 1pm yesterday.

"There's been a photographer around here, do you know her?" he added.

More.....

It would seem that postal voting fraud is worse than 2005.

Sunday, 2 May 2010

Hazel Blears gets a kicking now.

I know, I know. Not another "Downfall" video.

 

H/T to the lone voice

Saturday, 1 May 2010

Women in work

I have to admire one in particular. This one started work at 0730 this morning. She's just phoned me at 2145 to say that she will be working till at least 2245. Who is this saint you ask?

My wife.

She has the old fashioned work ethos that the job must be done whatever it takes.

She brought up our three kids and when they were old enough and whilst they were school, she went part time, back to work.

Later she went full time and having proved that she had the work ethic was head hunted into a technical offshoot of the parent company.

Many, has been the time, that at short notice she has had to travel abroad for extended periods. India, Hong Kong, Luxemburg, Dublin, to name a few.

How many of the new age would do the same?

Is this our future?

I give you Captain Ranty

The future of this land?

I sincerely hope not.

Where are they?

vote

 

If all those Parliamentary candidates want my vote. Where have they got to?

In all the time I've lived at this address I've never seen any of the scum candidates.

The Jehovah's witnesses have been more prevalent.

(I'll probably wish I hadn't posted this. They'll probably be round in packs tommorrow).

Remember "Boobquake"?

The "Blag Hag" defends her feminism here.

I especially liked the ending.

I'm not upset. I know that whatever you say, someone, somewhere will be offended. If the cleric had said eating pork caused earthquakes, and I suggested Baconquake, I'd probably be getting nasty emails from vegans or PETA. If the cleric had said drinking alcohol caused earthquakes, and I suggested Beerquake, I'd probably be getting nasty emails from teetotalers. But if I lived my whole life in constant fear of pissing someone off, I would stay silent and accomplish nothing. And what good is that?

Food for thought?

Serious UPDATE well worth the read. The Muslim response. This is seriously going to upset the clerics.

Oh. So that's why.

WHY ARE ELECTIONS HELD ON THURSDAYS?

They do not have to be - it is just a convention. One theory about its origins is that people were not paid until Fridays and so holding polls on Thursdays ensured they were not too drunk to vote. The Electoral Commission has recommended trials of weekend voting as a way of improving turnout.

Mmmm