Australians can be so polite!
Melbourne Tower : "Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."
Saudi Air : "Thank you Melbourne . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised."
Melbourne Tower : " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 27L."
Iran Air : "Thank you Melbourne . We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L. - Allah is Great."
Saudi Air : " MELBOURNE TOWER - MELBOURNE TOWER !"
Melbourne Tower : "Go ahead Saudi Air 511..."
Saudi Air : "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR
THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE
ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE . ... .. .. ... INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE!"
Melbourne Tower : "Well bless your hearts, and praise Jesus. Proceed to your destination and tell Allah we said "Hi".