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Wednesday, 26 November 2014

I never want to……

hear or see the following:

“It’s for the sake of the Children”

“Lessons will be learnt”. (It should read: The fuckwit in charge, has been hanged sacked immediately).

No smoking.

“Drinkaware” on my booze. ( I’m perfectly aware how much I need to drink before I’m a gibbering wreck).

“It’s the right think to do”. (The head fuckwit politician’s favourite phrase).

“Darling, can you fix the……”(Enter disaster of your choice).

“Ring Ring” We’re just carrying out a short survey. (After twenty boring minutes you finally find out what they’re selling).

I could probably think of many more if I wanted to.

Please add your pet hates in the comments.

Monday, 24 November 2014

How Much!

On Saturday I received a letter from HRMC telling me how much tax I’d paid in the year 2013 – 2014. The table is reproduced below. Naively I’d presumed that the largest proportion would have been spent on the NHS and defence of the realm. I was astounded to see the top item and the sum involved.

Now I’d always considered that welfare was a safety net to help those that had fallen on hard times.

I’d dearly love to have it broken down to where the £16.67/week that I pay is really going.

image

Which bloody, never had a job, doesn’t want one anyway, Chav, is getting my money. At the very least I expect a Christmas card.

Thursday, 20 November 2014

Could you have found the wrong cause?

Antismokers of tobacco control.

If you look at the graph below you’ll note that as all the serious ailments attributed to smoking tobacco have gone up, smoking prevalence has fallen.

I would suggest that they have failed to find the real cause for those illnesses. The problem is that unless someone with some semblance of power questions the figures, more people will needlessly die.

Might they just look at the rise in diesel powered vehicles and wonder if there is any correlation?

smoking

Trends in smoking and health in the USA

This is a hand drawn pictorial representation using government data from CDC (Centres for Disease Control) and data from 'The American Cancer Society', 'The American Lung Association', and 'The American Lung Association'. It does not appear that smoking or smoke is 'causing' any of these things, but they all represent 'healthy' profit centres  for the pharmaceutical industry.

Tuesday, 18 November 2014

They don’t muck around.

The Spanish navy that is……

The film is about how the Spanish navy weren’t going to put up with any shit from Greenpiss who were going to board an oil drilling ship.

The Spanish Defense Ministry has justified the actions of the country’s navy, which rammed into a Greenpeace boat, injuring activists. The ministry believes the Navy had no other choice as they were preventing an act of “piracy.”

The Navy “did what it had to do” to prevent the environmentalist group from committing a “crime of piracy,” the Defense Ministry told Europa Press on Monday.

And well done too. It might make them realise that they’re not all powerful, and can do what they want without consequences. They were warned.

The Navy argues the Greenpeace boats ignored several warnings urging them not to enter the so-called exclusion zone around the oil drilling ship, which extends for one maritime mile.

Monday, 17 November 2014

Gullible non smokers.

It would seem that the younger generation (or at least some of them) have been brainwashed into thinking that only smokers get lung cancer. A typical example or two:

Tori Tomalia, a mother of three young children from Ann Arbor, Michigan, was diagnosed last year with stage IV lung cancer. She was only 37.

“I actually thought it was impossible for a nonsmoker to get lung cancer at my age,” she told NBC News.

and

Emily Bennett Taylor, a healthy athlete from Los Angeles, California, was even younger when she got her diagnosis at 28. Her doctors were also surprised and brushed off her chronic cough as asthma.

And of course this is the result:

Lung cancer is the top cancer killer of women, and some medical experts say that they are seeing more patients in their 20s and 30s, many of them nonsmokers. But because lung cancer carries the stigma of smoking, experts say it is often overlooked in non-smoking patients — and doesn’t get the kind of funding or support given to breast cancer and other big killers.

The problem now is that Politicians, Doctors, and the general public have been conditioned into believing that only smokers will die of lung cancer. This is proving disastrous for funding into the causes of lung cancer.

Doctors and and their patients say it’s the stigma associated with smoking that is hurting them most, impeding research and compromising good patient care.

According to the Washington, D.C.-based Lung Cancer Alliance, for every person who dies of breast cancer, $26,000 is spent on research funds, yet less than $1,500 is allocated for those who die of lung cancer.

It just shows how misinformation is killing thousands yearly who could have been saved and had a long and productive life.

You can read it all HERE.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Smoking bans

Smoking bans started creeping in long before 2007. When I first started in the world of work there were relatively no bans in force. Even in college you could smoke in the classrooms as long as you supplied your own ash tray.

When I joined my first ship, smoking was allowed any where, except if the vessel was an oil tanker or was carrying bulk ammunition. (Stands to reason. Big bangs hurt).

Then the mission creep started.

Ban in the engine room. Although trying to set light to marine diesel oil is difficult at the best of times.

Ban in duel occupancy offices became the norm.

Then no smoking in any offices.

Soon after, no smoking in internal alleyways.

No smoking in the Machinery Control or on the Bridge. Even though you had to be there for four hours at a stretch

No smoking in dining areas even when no food was being consumed.

No smoking in bars where food could be consumed. Bars sell crisps was the reason.

Finally. No smoking in cabins, even though your cabin was your home for four months.

Enough was enough.

I retired.

Saturday, 15 November 2014

The English Pub

pub

Rules of etiquette for foreigners who visit UK pubs.

These are, of course, renowned the world over as places to get to know the local people. To ensure a  pleasant evening's drinking, follow these tips:

Select your pub  carefully. The best pubs are those in the inner cities, around some of  the least salubrious housing. The people here cannot afford to go out, so pubs in these districts are full of upper-crust Englishmen who travel  here in their Bentley cars to get away from the hustle and bustle of country  pubs.

Mix with the locals. These "toffs" often put on a coarse accent after a glass or  two of beer; do not be intimidated, they are resting their throats after  talking "posh" all day. They will be glad to play Eton college word-games: "Get Up, That's My Seat", "You look a poof-to-me!"  and "Is-she-for sale?" Call out one of these games to any large chap, and have fun.

Order your drinks  carefully. Bartenders are notoriously dishonest (indeed, they are proud  of this tradition, and enjoy having their "leg pulled"). If you order a spirit drink, they will pour a little into your glass; insist  on it being topped up to the brim. When tasting your first sip of beer,  exclaim that there must be water in it. They will admire you for your candour, and will offer to buy you a drink "on the house". Pubs  that sell "real ale" are attempting to emulate Budweiser beer; let the landlord know where he is going wrong. He will be very grateful for advice from a foreigner.

"Darts"  is a common pub game. Your opponent will throw darts at the circular board  - your object is to pull them out faster than he can throw them. If you  see a game in progress, reserve your place by rubbing out all the numbers  on the blackboard.

It is common to  find pool tables in pubs. Beware, they are not playing to American rules! To join a game of pool already in progress, simply pick up one of the  cues provided, walk to the table, and quickly cue the black ball into the nearest pocket. You are now in the game. The object is to pot all  your balls as quickly as possible without disturbing the white. Don't  be disheartened if you miss a shot; quickly move on to the next. You score  extra points for "blocking" your opponent's attempts to shoot,  using your hands.

Remember that free snacks, such as crisps and peanuts, are kept behind the bar to retain freshness.  For goodness' sake, don't let them "rip you off" by demanding money!

At about 11 o'clock, it is traditional for the barpeople to call the game of "time",  leave their posts and wander around the pub, shouting at people. Do not  be alarmed - they may sound like they want you to leave, but in fact the reverse is the case. English pubs close after dawn, and the staff are shouting to stimulate drinkers to continue spending their money. The object of this game is to remain where you are! To ensure you don't get thirsty  during this period, buy a few rounds just before 11 o'clock (it's a slow time for the staff, so use this opportunity to chat). Drink slowly. You'll have ample opportunity to catch up when the barman returns to his post.

When you do leave  the pub, you are likely to find a small crowd of happy revellers outside, singing traditional songs as they await their chauffeurs. This is known  as "chucking-out time" The ladies in these crowds are sad and lonely; why not ask the male chaperones if their lady friends would like to come back to your hotel? Offer to make them very happy. The men will probably ask you to discuss the pedigree of their charges in the privacy of the pub car park.

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Musical interlude with a touch of climate change.

Actually the earth hasn’t warmed for 18 years now. (Admitted reluctantly by the UK Met Office)

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Smoking ban (Part 2763)

ciggie

I see the latest wheeze by the bansturbators in parliament is to ban “smoking in cars with children”.

They just can’t help themselves can they? However I fail to see how they can enforce a ban with so many loopholes in it. Here’s a couple.

What if the car has tinted windows like mine. How will they know if there are children in the car? Will they set up roadblocks?

How will they know if someone has actually smoked while the kiddies were in the car? The smell could have lingered from a previous journey?

Why is there a need for this anyway as:

‘Smoking in cars with children has been in decline for years. Today very few people do it because the overwhelming majority of smokers accept that it’s inconsiderate.’ (Simon Clarke from Forest).

I suspect that is the slippery slope to banning smoking elsewhere. If they can start banning it in your own private car, why stop there?

Ban it in peoples own homes will be next. Don’t believe me. just wait.

Monday, 10 November 2014

My computer got into a state.

Solid state that is.

My last computer woes began with a failing conventional hard drive. So what did I do? I bought a 750 gigabyte solid state drive to replace the failing drive.

I was a fool.

Even though it had a three year manufacturer’s warranty.

The bloody thing lasted less than six months and died a sudden death taking most of my data with it.

The one bright side of the story is that I contacted the retailer, Amazon, by secure mail this morning and had a reply two hours later. They are sending a courier to collect it, and I should get a full refund in two or three days. Well done that company.

The new computer is now up and running even though I spent several days trying to set up Mrs FE’s Email account. I don’t know why I bother as she never reads her mail anyway.