My missus bought a paperbackIn Asda…… Saturday,I had a look inside the bagT’was "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Well I just left her to it, see,And went off up to bedAn hour later, she appearedOh the sight filled me with dread!
In her hand she held a ropeThe other, held a whip!She brandished them around a bitAnd then began to strip….
Well forty years or so, ago,I might have had a peekBut Doris hasn’t weathered wellShe’s sixty-eight next week.
Watching Doris bump and grindCouldn’t be much grimmer…And things progressed from bad to worseShe toppled off her Zimmer !
She struggled back up to her feet,A good half hour later,Put her teeth back in and saidThat I must dominate her !!!
Now if you knew our Doris, see,You’d know just why I cringed.I’d been two months in traction, cosMy hips and knees unhinged.
She stood there nude. All naked, like,Bent forward quite a bit…. andJumping back in fright I wentAnd stood on her left tit.
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,My word. What HAD I done ?She moaned and groaned then shouted out"Step on the OTHER one !!!"
Well reader, I can tell no moreAbout what occurred that day.Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,Turned fifty shades of grey.
Black and blue, battered too,With wanton, wild perversion,We decided that a night of sinWas scarce worth such exertion
Thank Heavens she has binned the bookAnd peace reigns, like before.She’s head to toe in winceyetteAnd back to back, we snore………...