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Thursday 12 September 2013

Ring Ring

The house phone rang this afternoon. On my picking it up I found that it was from my phone and internet service provider. After the usual preliminaries “ We are recording for Blah,blah, etc”, the caller got down to business.

1. Have you any problems with our service?

My reply: Broadband is slow, and often disconnects.

Her reply: Errm, here’s the number of our service department.

2. Are you satisfied with your phone charges?

My reply: I rarely use the home phone as I have more free minutes on my mobile than I will ever use.

Her reply: Errrm….

3. Have you got Freeview or Sky?

My reply: Both

Her reply: We can let you have a digibox that will allow you to record and rewind, download films and fly you to the moon. (Alright, I made the last one up).

My reply: My system already does that.

Her reply: Errrrm.

Now comes the crunch that she was really leading up to.

4. Would you like to sign up for another year’s contract?

My reply: Why would I want to do that? Your terms and conditions state that once I signed up with you, after one year, It would be a rolling contract able to be cancelled at any time.

My service provider frequently gets bad press. It seems that they are making a concerted effort to tie their customer base in for the short term and maybe use this in advertising their service. “X thousands of customers have renewed their contact with us”.

Hint: My provider is what women do x two.