Ooops

 

Australians can be so polite! 

Melbourne Tower : "Saudi Air 511  -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R."

Saudi  Air : "Thank you  Melbourne . Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's  runway 9R - Allah be Praised."

Melbourne  Tower : " Iran Air 711  - You are cleared to land on runway  27L."

Iran   Air : "Thank you  Melbourne . We are cleared to land on infidel's runway  27L. -  Allah is Great."

Pause....

Saudi  Air :  " MELBOURNE TOWER - MELBOURNE TOWER !"

Melbourne   Tower : "Go ahead  Saudi Air 511..."

Saudi  Air : "YOU HAVE  CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR
THE SAME RUNWAY  GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE
ARE ON A COLLISION  COURSE . ... .. .. ... INSTRUCTIONS,  PLEASE!"


Melbourne   Tower : "Well bless  your hearts, and praise Jesus. Proceed to your destination and tell Allah we said "Hi".

1979 again?

Remember the storming of the American Embassy in Tehran in 1979?

It would seem it’s our turn now to be invaded.

Several dozen Iranian students have stormed the UK embassy in Tehran, chanting “death to England” and bringing down the British flag.

Reports by the Mehr news agency that six UK staff had been taken hostage when students raided a north Tehran diplomatic compound were withdrawn shortly after they were posted. No explanation was given for the report, nor its removal.

Iranian police have reportedly used water cannons to push the protesters back from the embassy’s main entrance and force them to climb down from the gate.

The police have managed to take control of the rally and forced all but some 50 protesters to leave the territory of the embassy.

I shall press all the numbers

 

For those that need help.

I should write a serious post, but I’m suffering from Post Traumatic Dentist Disorder. The Butcher dentist decided he would have fun cutting my gums apart again. I was about to take codeine till I read the warning on the packet. “Do not take if you have a stomach ulcer or have had one”.

Mind you the label didn’t state that I couldn’t numb the pain using medicinal whisky. Hic.

H/T to Dave via Email

UPDATE: The Movie

H/T Joe Public

Shower Sex

In a recent survey requested by President Obama, African-Americans have proved to be the most likely to have had sex in the shower!

In the survey, carried out for him by a leading toiletries firm, a huge majority, 86% of African-Americans, said that they have had sex in the shower.

The other 14% said they hadn't been to prison yet.
Sort of brings tears to your eyes doesn't it?

Why I don’t travel by train.

Yesterday Myself, Mrs FE, The Boy, and his Partner, travelled from Darlington to York and back. A round total of 110 miles.

I have just calculated that we most certainly should have taken the car.

Total cost by train £63. (One member of the party had a senior rail card).

Total cost if we had taken the car. £4.20.

Thereby showing that travelling by train is 14 times more expensive than going by car. And as an aside, going by car guarantees  a seat.

pah.

Involuntary Muscle Contraction

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to a group of first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know what your arse hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'

She replied, 'Probably out playing golf with his mates.'

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom!

Ed. Abnormal service will resume on Monday. (That’s if I survive major dental work scheduled for 11.30).

She must have one of those

The ULTIMATE in Women's
Body Piercing...
Biggest turn on for guys!

Men all over the country are urging their wives
And sweethearts to get this 'chic' procedure.

The going rate in London now is £2250.00

Many men feel it is worth it.

 

 

 

INTERLUDE

I’ve gone oop north to visit my son.

Doing my civic duty

While hiking along the white cliffs of Dover this morning I noticed a Muslim extremist slip from the cliffs and fall into the English Channel .
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he had been carrying.

If he didn't get help he'd surely drown.

Being a responsible Brit, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed Kent Police and the Home Office.

It is now 4 p.m., he has drowned, and neither authority has yet responded.

I'm starting to think I wasted two stamps.

Professor Jones admits climate change can be natural

Climategate Email No. 0235

This is a reply given to a freelance journalist asking Professor Jones if there was another period in history where the climate was worse than now. The bit that astounded me in his reply, was the closing remarks in his E Mail (I’ve emboldened it). I’ve also re-formatted the E mail to make it easier to read, but not altered the content in any way.

REDACTEDOriginal Message -----  date: Tue, 9 Oct 2007
From: [5]Phil Jones
To: [6]Jo Carlowe
Sent: Tuesday, OctoberREDACTED:06 PM
Subject: Re: BBC Focus Magazine
Jo,
I was away all last week, so apologies for being slow. Here are a
few thoughts.

REDACTEDYou and other may feel more insecure now, but this is coming from the knowledge you now have. This knowledge was quite different from earlier centuries, so this affects how earlier events were perceived then as opposed to now. So, any comparisons with the past are not that relevant to what is happening now or what will happen in the future.

REDACTEDThere have been good/bad times for humans in the past (and I'm thinking here purely of those related to the environment). The impacts of such events, that I know of, though are only related to the effects across Europe.
Agricultural crises DID NOT trigger the Little Ice Age - even if such an
event took place. Europe WAS not gripped by a chill that lasted 300 years. Your view here is completely wrong. There were more cold years, but there were also some very warm periods.

REDACTEDThe clearest impacts of climate in the historical past that I'm aware of took place when the climate of western Europe warmed from the early 1700s to about 1739. There were a number of good harvests in Britain and Ireland and our population increased dramatically as more children survived.
You should now see why your premise about the Little Ice Age is completely wrong. The 1730s temperatures in the UK are exceeded by two decades – the REDACTEDs and the 2000s.
In the late 1730s the population of Ireland was about twice what it is now!
In 1740 the coldest year in the Central England Temperature record occurred.
This led of famine across western Europe, especially Ireland. As many
people left Ireland then as did from the potato famine a century later. Probably as many died, but it is a forgotten famine because of the later on in 1845/6.
The latter was due to the potato blight (and a one crop agricultural system), but the one in 1740 was purely to the weather.
I'm attaching an article about this - the book to look at is by Dickson - in the references.

There is something in the paper about the effects of the very cold year
in different regions of Europe. The important thing in all this is
the exceptional cold of the year occurred after exceptional warmth of an entire decade, so the effects were likely much worse as the population had got used to a better climate. The conclusion of the paper is that the event was natural (with no known cause) so it could occur again!
The follow on influence of this is that people are not affected much by climate or climate change. What effects them is the Weather!
Cheers
Phil

SOURCE

So Professsor Jones now admits that it could happen again naturally. Mmmm.