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Friday, 24 February 2012

FFS

I don’t know if you’ve been aware of the Fakegate scandal where a member of the fanatical cadre of AGW, fraudulently obtained documents belonging to the Heartland Institute and proceeded to attempt to smear the institute by linking the documents to a blatantly fake policy document. The perpetrator was a certain professor Gleick who has now confessed in public to his stupidity.

However certain sites that he distributed this information to, are hailing him as a hero. They’ll stop at no ends to smear the HI.

Take this piece of crap from Desmogblog. 

If you really want to feel really dirty, go and read their manifesto. It is the real antithesis of what science is all about.

Pie in the sea

tide turbine

The government will today be called on to increase its support for wave and tidal power in a new report from MPs warning the UK is at risk of repeating mistakes which allowed the country to lose its early lead in the developing wind power industry.

MPs on the Commons' Energy and Climate Change Committee (ECC) on Monday released a report on the future of marine renewables, which will claim the UK could become a leading exporter of wave and tidal power equipment and expertise if the government adopts a more visionary approach to developing marine energy.

Oh that’ll work well then. As my one reader will recall, (Hi Mrs FE) the author of this poorly written blog was a marine engineer for some 43 years. I know from bitter experience how corrosive sea water is. Many a time I’ve been called to fix a salt water leak from a corroded  pipe. Especially when you are at the North of Norway in the middle of winter and it’s at two in the morning.

I envisage that these turbines will be vastly more costly than above water wind turbines.

1)  Wind turbines only have to be weather-proof. Submersed turbines have to be waterproof to the depth they are subjected to. What are the materials to be used in the manufacture? What paint coating will they use to protect against marine growth? After all they would be foolish to use a cheap coating. It’s somewhat difficult to re-paint underwater.

2) You have to place and secure them underwater. Somewhat expensive in my mind. You’ll need divers and submersibles for that.

3) Ditto connection of cables.

4) Maintenance. This always seems to be left out of the equation when these schemes are floated in front of our lords and masters. How do you change a gearbox bearing underwater? In fact how due you change the oil in the gearbox?

5) has anyone assessed a failure rate and what to do when one or more fail? Considering that seaborne wind turbines appear to have an effective life of eight years rather than the twenty touted by the industry.

6) The one in the picture above is designed to swivel. How long before the swivel bearing seizes due to salt water seepage.

Anything I’ve forgotten? 

You get my point I hope.

The reason why I wrote this post is the “My dick is bigger than your dick” mentality by our politicians when it concerns being “Green”.

But the report warns that an overly cautious approach to deployment may allow other less risk-averse countries to steal the UK's lead.

and

The ECC report will issue a series of recommendations designed to ensure the UK retains its leading position, including clarifying how much revenue support marine power can expect to receive beyond 2017 as soon as possible.

and more

"Britannia really could rule the waves when it comes to marine renewable energy," said committee chairman Tim Yeo. "We are extremely well placed to lead the world in wave and tidal technologies, which could potentially bring significant benefits in manufacturing and jobs, as well an abundant supply of reliable low-carbon electricity."

The question I’d like to put to Tim Yeo (I refuse to call him honourable. MPs’ lost that honorific due to the expenses scandal), why do you want to destroy the UK’s competiveness by hiking up energy prices to obscene levels?

Dear reader (Bugger, Mrs FE has gone to bed), what would you prefer? A cheap energy source supplying your needs, or one that threatens you to a life of fuel poverty and rolling blackouts. I know which one I prefer.

 

 

.

Take the bus

Travel information brought to you by Filthy Engineer TM productions.

and

And finally.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Bloody binge drinkers

alcohol-bottles-chris

Apparently no walk of life is safe from them. Is this man a binge drinker? If it is proved that he is (And I’m not saying for one moment he is), what should our Dear Leader do?

A Labour MP has been suspended from the party after he was arrested following an alleged brawl in a House of Commons bar last night.

Eric Joyce is said to have punched several Tory MPs in the fracas just before 11pm last night. It is reported he also hit a Labour MP.

Stuart Andrew, MP for Pudsey, was reportedly headbutted and punched in the Strangers Bar, a Commons bar reserved for MPs and their guests.

An eyewitness told the Politics Home website that Mr Joyce, a former Army officer who represents Falkirk, pushed a Tory MP and then started punching other Conservative members seated at the back of the bar. Drinks were also allegedly thrown over some bar patrons.

So Mr Cameron. What can you do about it, seeing that you’ve been spouting drivel over the last few days about curbing the habits of the minority in our society?

I have a suggestion for you. Immediately enforce a minimum price for drinks in the House of Commons bar with immediate effect.

Lets just start at £10 per pint, and raise it if this behaviour carries on. Or even better close the bars completely. How many businesses have bars in them anyway? (Unless you’re running a pub of course).

Come on Dave. You know it makes sense. 

Imusthaveoneofthese

For some of us, I believe this application could prove difficult and costly to install, but the application appears to run smoothly for this guy. This is the best thing ever! And it can theoretically be adapted for other applications besides a garage door.

Can’t see mine working so well.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

CARDIOLOGIST FUNERAL

coffin

This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral...
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate
funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life...

A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the
service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the
eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then
closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners just burst into laughter. When all
eyes stared at him, he said, 'I'm so sorry... I was just thinking of my
own funeral...I'm a gynaecologist!'

The priest fainted!......................

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Fracking

 Fancy becoming an executive producer of a film? Have a watch of the movie first. If you like what you see. Then follow the link underneath.



What is fracking you ask? Well it's a way of extracting unconventional gas from shale rock formations deep underground. And we've got lots of it just waiting to be recovered.

Fracknation

Monday, 20 February 2012

Liverpool Girls.

 

A Liverpool girl enters an adult shop and asks for a vibrator.

The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take that red one."
 
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."
******
Q. What do you call a 27 year old Liverpool girl?
A. Granny.
******
Q. What do you call a Liverpool girl in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
*************
Q. What does a Liverpool girl use as protection during sex?
A. A bus shelter.
*****************
Q. There are two Liverpool girls in a car without any music - who is
driving?
A. The policeman..
***************
Q. What's the most confusing day in Liverpool ?
A. Father's day.
*****************
Q. How do people know Jesus wasn't born in Liverpool ?
A. You try finding 3 wise men and a virgin there!

I’m back.

tired

From a week of work. I’ve just spent a whole week painting rooms, putting up curtain tracks, screwing towel rail holders to walls, and sundry plumbing.

I’m exhausted.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Confucious he not say.

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tyred, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night..

It takes many nails to build a crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Finally CONFUCIUS SAY. . .

"A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!"