Hits the nail on the head.

 

This example shows the importance of accuracy in your tax return. The HMRC has returned the Tax Return to a man in Evesham after he apparently answered one of the questions incorrectly.

In response to the question Do you have anyone dependant on you?

The man wrote:- "2.1 million illegal immigrants and counting, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable Jeremy Kyle scroungers, 90,000 criminals in over 85 prisons plus 649 self serving lying ponces in our Parliament and the entire European Commission".

The HMRC stated that the response he gave was unacceptable.

The man's response back to HMRC was "Who did I miss out?".

When A Male Bird Can't Stand It Anymore

I know how he feels.

I’m a champion. Apparently.

I received this heap of garbage in my E Mail this morning.

Dear Drink Wise online subscriber, (Ed: Never in a million years would I think of such a thing.)

2013 is set to be an important year setting the direction of alcohol policy nationally for many years to come.

As one of Drink Wise’s online subscribers and Alcohol Champions* we would like to hear some of your views through this very short online survey (no more than 2 minutes long!).

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/YSR3Y7H

We look forward to your response.

The Drink Wise Team

Drink Wise

4th Floor, Dale House, 35 Dale Street, Manchester M1 2HF

T: 0161 233 7512

www.drinkwisenorthwest.org

Well I gave them my response to their short questionnaire. They really shouldn’t include a box marked “Other”. Here’s the first page of the survey.

Which aspects of alcohol policy interest you? (you can tick as many answers that apply)

Tackling underage alcohol sales

Preventing underage binge drinking

Stopping alcohol advertising before 9pm on TV

Stopping alcohol advertising in cinemas to under-18's

Curbing the low prices of alcohol in supermarkets

Support the introduction of a minimum unit price for alcohol

Support setting a 50 pence minimum unit price level for alcohol

Reducing the opening hours of licensed premises

Reducing the number of licensed premises

Other (please specify) Go on. Go mad (I did). You know it makes sense to prod these Nu puritans.

I’m off two top my glass up with at least half of my so called ration of units.

* First I’ve heard of it.

I don’t think that you should do that.

A Darwin award in the making?

Billy No Mates

So the Anti smokers thought they would be able to populate pubs full of non smokers?

Didn’t see that coming did they?

Mind you where I live we all buy our drink from the Supermarket (Cos it’s cheaper) and drink in each other’s homes in comfort, enjoying each other’s company.

Goodbye 2012

Just a few odd posts from last years blog in case you're bored.

January

Won't somebody think of the Cheeeeldren!

February

Where there's a will........

March

Here's where I tried my hand at trolling on Desmogblog

April

Laws of everything.

May

Here I have a rant about politicians

June

The mathematics of speeding.

July

A good day as it turned out.

August

Everything went wrong

September

Fire, Fire, Fire.

October

Oh No. It's her

November

Paedophilia

December

A happy event.

I try my hand at decent blogging this year. (Snort)

2013

Happy new year from the FE. I hope you and your’s have a prosperous and happy year.

Raise your glass and…………………

*HIC*

Worry

 

The momentous event for my family this year.

The man in question in the Daily mail article below is my Son in law.

'He's the best present I've ever received': Man given 5% chance of becoming a father after battling testicular cancer twice celebrates his son's first Christmas

• Huw Allanson, 26, lost a testicle and had several gruelling rounds of chemo after being diagnosed
• Told he and fiance Lizi had just 5% chance of conceiving naturally due to poor quality sperm
• But just a week before starting IVF, realised they had conceived naturally
• Baby Ryan was born in April this year

The full article is HERE if you want to have a read. It was momentous news to all of us in TFE household.

Christmas day No drink left edition.

As usual your host got up at the crack of dawn to prepare for the day’s festivities (At least I think 8:15 is the crack of doom dawn). Mrs FE had beaten me to it by getting up at 6:30, and when I ventured down I found her in the kitchen muttering arcane spells of the like “20 minutes to the pound and another twenty minutes…………”, and playing with strange things that purported to be vegetables. Promptly left that area of my in expertise.

I was left to stick to what I know best. The alcohol. Arranging the bottles and glasses to be ready at hand for the guests before they arrive.

Done. All is in order.

Fast forward 10 hours.

White wine lake : Empty.

Rose wine lake : Severely depleted.

Brandy: Left orbit just after the Christmas pud was finished.

Beer/lager: Red flashing warning signs signifying imminent collapse of stocks.

However all is not lost. The Whisky I hid has not been found. Yet.

What I would like to know is how do seven people drink eight bottles of white wine (includes a Grannie aged 91)? And they’re still imbibing the rum, gin, vodka, and anything else they find in my drinks cabinet.

It defies the laws of physics I tell you. I blame it on the Higgs Boson.

Bastards.