No not for me. I'll be checking into a Holiday Inn!
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing £188.00 per day, there is a better way when we get old and too feeble.
I've already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn.
For a combined long term stay discount and senior discount, it's £59.23 per night.
Breakfast is included, and some have happy hours in the afternoon.
That leaves £128.77 a day for lunch and dinner in any restaurant we want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.
Plus, they provide a spa, swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge and washer-dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.
£5 worth of tips a day you'll have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
There's a bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise, the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you're not stuck in one place forever -- you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Scotland? They have Holiday Inn there too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem.. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they'll call an ambulance . . . or the undertaker.
If you fall and break a hip, NHS will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-holiday.
The grandchildren can use the pool.
What more could I ask for? Can you see a flaw in my thinking?
Do they have smoker friendly rooms?
ReplyDeleteI read of a lady who went on a series of cruise liner trips. She found that it was cheaper than a (un)care-home
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't call it a flaw FE ..
ReplyDeleteBut I reckon there's an even better way, which doesn't involve making a profit for Holiday Inns ..
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in nursing homes ..
This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks ...
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out ...
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance ...
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them ...
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell ...
They would be free to smoke in their cells, as these are considered to be their "homes" ..
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose ...
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and educational courses ...
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request ...
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens ...
Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls ...
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct which would be strictly adhered to, backed by a complaints procedure, paid for by the Taxpayer ...
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out alive ...
So .. when I feel that I can no longer manage on my own .. I'm going to get a Taxi to take me to the local Public Library, tip the cabbie to help me inside .. sit down on the floor & light my Pipe ..
I shall refuse to desist & to the best of my ability fight-off anyone who tries to make me, including Plod ..
Which means I'll get my collar felt & will appear in Court ..
Where I'll insult the Magistrates, so that they send me to Crown Court, where I shall tell the Judge that He/She is an out-of-touch with reality fucktard ..
And with any luck, I'll get a half-way decent sentence ..
xopher. No they don't unfortunately. but I just lean out of the window and flick the butts under the next one.
ReplyDeleteDAD. I've just spent the last 43 years sailing the oceans. I'm afraid cruising would be a bus man's holiday.
ReplyDeleteCaptain.
ReplyDeleteNo chance. You'll just get an Asbo for life.
I love the idea, though you forgot to mention the Priority Club Rewards scheme!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.priorityclub.com/hotels/us/en/home
The points/benefits can used at any of the Intercontinental Hotels Group companies: Holiday Inn + HI Express + HI Resort + HI Club Vacations, Crowne Plaza, Hotel Indigo, Staybridge, Candlewood Suites.
All in all a sweet deal, especially if you start collecting points by staying at their hotels before using it as a residence for your twilight years ;-)
Doesn't have the added plus of truly penalising criminals that Capt Haddock's suggestion had, but it's a start.