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Tuesday, 17 May 2011



What an earth does this mean?

We are looking for a Integrated Children's System Training Officer to manage a team of Systems Trainers and Support Advisors. The team is responsible for the delivery of systems training and the provision of first line support to the users of the Social Care recording systems, primarily the Integrated Children's System (Protocol) and supporting Management Information system (Swipe). The role will include; management of Training Room facilities throughout the County, development of a blended learning training programme and working alongside other key stake holders to enable the system users to make best use of the recording systems. The ideal candidate will have experience of managing a training team in a blended learning environment, experience of working in a large multi-disciplinary environment and be flexible and responsive to frequently changing demands.

And what an earth is a “Integrated Children’s system Training Officer” when it’s at home?

This little bit of new speak is taken from an ad for a council job.. And it pays well. Too well in my mind.

Salary: £28,500 £50,400
37 hours per week
Fixed term until 31st March 2012.

So if you live in Essex…………………………..

Then of course you could apply for a job of

Food Safety Hawk


  1. I think it is you manage the team that shows the social workers how to use the tape recorders and the in-house software on their PC's

  2. On that salary. Wow. I'm off to Essex then.

  3. Ah but with these roles it's not enough to be able to walk the walk.

    You have to talk the talk, they want to hear all about KPI's and SMART targets and managing diversity and embracing change, over coming barriers, using synergys.

    you got to show you can be committed to the Councils core values of public
    * service, quality, equality and empowerment and to demonstrate this commitment in the way they carry out their duties.

    It's the reason I failed my first interview for the DWP, I just didn't talk like them.

  4. Before using the Management Information system (Swipe)you have to be registered.This would then mean that you are an rswipe
    which would make you an ideal public sector worker.

  5. What an earth does this mean?

    As little as possible, I suspect.

    Cap'n Swing - rofl.

  6. "What an earth does this mean?"

    Increased taxes!

    And, job preservation for HR staff.

  7. Why don't they just write
    "Common Purpose wanker required to suck on the public tit".

  8. The worrying thing is that they're still recruiting for these sort of posts, whilst closing libraries and the like.

  9. Well really if it was advertised as what it actually is would you have a problem? All it is, is

    "Training & Support Dept. Team Manager/ Leader"
    You see them advertised all the time and which in most company's would get that sort of salary

    They've just surrounded it with so much PC bollocks it looks like a non-job.

    Same applies to 'Food Safety Hawk' It is just the old Food & Hygiene Weights & Measures Inspector a service councils have always supplied

    Now if you'd had found Smoking Cessation Officer, Gypsy Outreach Worker, Black History Month Coordinator, LGBT Liaison Officer.

    The sort of things councils have no reason to be involved in, I could see your point.

  10. Why don't they just say that then?

    Are they just trying to keep the jobs for those in the know? A constant merry go round of the same people just migrating around in a circle flitting from one job to another when they are found to be useless at the one they're in.

  11. Give the man prize, you've got it.

    You only have to read Private Eye a couple of times for the same old names to keep cropping up in Rotten Boroughs.

    Plus add in the first job is an FTA supplied by Crapita, a huge Nu-Labour donor. so you don't actually work for the council for 30K a year you work for Crapita, so imagine how much they are getting for you.

  12. From an American Perspective? It's a bunch of big words strung together to sound impressive[bureaucratise..yep it's a new up and coming language! or a really old one] to use to justify a position that really isn't necessary for a salary that's just waaay too high. That's just a guess of course.

  13. mikebravo hits it on the head, it is code for "Common Purpose only need apply".


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