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Thursday, 24 February 2011


No I’m bloody not
What’s with all this prying into our lives? Firstly we’re going to be forced under pain of fines to fill in the most obtrusive census forming in living memory.

17. What questions will I have to answer?

We ask about work, health, national identity, citizenship, ethnic background, education, second homes, language, religion, marital status and so on. People in Wales will have an extra question about the Welsh language.

Why should I be forced to tell them whether I work or not? Are they trying to find benefit cheats.
What business is it of theirs, what my health is? That’s between me and my GP. I shall write “DEAD” on mine.
National Identity? Am I going to tell them anything other than British? Maybe they’re at long last going to track down illegal immigrants. I don’t think so.
Language? Who cares what I speak as long a the local shopkeeper can understand my request for 60 cigarettes and a bottle of grouse. (Arnott and Shenker, I hope you will read that)’
Religion. That’s easy. I’m declaring myself as a founder member of  Smokology (order of  Superkings, first class).
Marital status? None of your business.  More benefit cheat entrapment.
As for the Welsh………………. enough said.

And finally they want me to answer a survey on how happy I am according to the Beeb tonight.

What do you think I am?


  1. I compared the questions against the 2001 census and actually they are not much different. Having said that, people didn't like that one much either!

  2. You do not have to answer the religion question
    So you can write anything you like in this section.

    As for me, I shall be in France for that week-end.

  3. Religion = Smoker
    Once 'Smoker' has the definition of a religion, what will ASH do then?


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