Christmas, logs, and the dentist.

It was one of those days. Today I had an appointment with the dentist. As we’ve only got one car now, The second one being borrowed by the boy, I had to run Mrs FE into work. (She needs to be kept busy and out of my way otherwise this blog would cease to exist).

That task over, and having stopped to buy a paper, I spent an hour or so relaxing with multiple cups of coffee, and a good peruse through my RSS reader.

Seeing as I was due to visit Torquemada my dentist, I decided that a shower was needed to wash the smell of tobacco from my puny torso. Just to stop, said dentist, from wrinkling up his nose and giving me the usual lecture.

I’d just finished my shower and was just drying myself, all the time admiring my manly torso in the mirror, I heard a vehicle attempting to find a space on my drive. It was logman. (I’d ordered a load of logs for my open fire. Bugger global warming). In an instance I hot dressingowned to the front door, hair in disarray, to be confronted with a rather frightened character. (If you’d seen me, so would you be).

Unfortunately he ended up having to unload the bag of logs next to the car, instead of beside the house. I didn’t think any thing of it at the time. Until.

On setting out for the dentist I found that I couldn’t get into the car. Bugger.

A frantic twenty minutes ensued of log moving and eventually I managed to finally climb into the Ferrari, (I’m downplaying my actual car, I wouldn’t want you to be jealous dear reader), and of to the dentist.

Do you want to know what happened there? probably not but I’ll tell you anyway.

Last time I went to Vlad the impaler my dentist cut open my gum to insert somethings of which seemed like plastic bottle tops. Today the stitches were to be taken out. needless to say. The PAIN.

Of course I manfully withstood this. What really made me cry is that I’m expected to pay £3577 in January for the experience.

Another downside to Christmas is that Mrs FE has ordered a vast amount of presents on line. therefore I have become a prisoner in my home waiting for the deliveries. However I’ve met a lot of new people, I would never have met.

That was today. What will tomorrow bring?

Christmas Lights

 

My house is the one on the right. I really am quite tight.

One has to love the Irish logic..... I do.....

You know there are so many TV channels, each starved of new programs.

In a rural program for farmers, a female TV reporter seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease, arranged for an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter....
The interview was as follows:

The lady reporter: "I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease... Can you offer any reason for this disease?"

The farmer stared at the reporter and said: ...............
"Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"

Reporter (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information.But what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"

Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"

Reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"

Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day.... And only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

The program was never aired...

Sorry Kiddies

Santa has had a slight accident.

Don’t forget the military wives.

I’ve been banished to the computer in the kitchen. Why you ask? My wife and the niece (Bless her curse her, she’s drinking all my rum), are watching the X Factor finale. I was deemed persona non grata for suggesting that it was puerile wannabee crap. Or words to that effect.

So in a mind for a bit of FE disobedience please buy this single for Christmas.

It’s only £1.99 at Amazon.

Go on, you’ll be doing your bit in supporting our armed forces. I count myself as lucky in conflicts I’ve been in. However I’ve  lost some dear friends to war. I will remember them. Without meaning to hector, you should as well.

What am I discussing here?

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
• Contributes to soil erosion.
• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
• Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
• Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Bloody dangerous stuff, in my mind.

A hint

Answers on a post card by Email will be judged on their merit.

Naughty

You have been warned. Kiddywinks. Be good.

I did not know this...

Public service broadcast

When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.

When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.

When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart
problems.

When you drink gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.

Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends.

The BBC must go.

Now I’ve long believed that the BBC has been a left leaning organisation, that is incapable of looking outside of it’s own self serving “bubble”.

I have written about scare stories before, and most have them have been hyped up by the BBC using unreliable science. Take one example. The BSE scare. We were led to believe night after night on our compulsory levied channel, that thousands were going to die as it mutated into CJD in the population. In fact about a hundred died.

This brings me on to one of the longest BBC scandals. Anthropogenic global warming or climate change as it is now called. (Most probably name changed as the climate has cooled over the last decade).

in Today’s Daily Mail Christopher Booker briefly summarises how the BBC has patently colluded in perpetuating the dodgy science. His article can be found here. Just read the article and then maybe you’ll like to read his paper written for the Global Warming Policy Foundation.

His article for the GWPF is really eye opening (You need some time and a few beers). It shows up the BBC for a left leaning biased inward looking organisation that in my opinion is not worth the money we pay for.

The whole article can be found HERE in PDF format. It really is an eye opener.

On a lighter note, (As in flames) it would seem that Scottish wind turbines don’t like wind.

History of Europe