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Monday, 25 February 2013

Cease and desist.

I’m talking about you, Charities.

You should stop deluging old and vulnerable people, such as my Mum in law, with an endless bombardment of telephone calls and letters asking her for money and implying that she is heartlessly, single handedly, killing children in the third world. Oh and Tigers as well.

Your constant bombardment is now turning her to decide not to give anything to anyone of you.

Personally I refuse to give to any charity that pesters me on the phone or by letter. I prefer to give to charities that don’t waste their donations on TV adverts, unsolicited phone calls, and mail shots. If they’re that good then they shouldn’t need to indulge in this sheer waste of their donation money.

So I’m off out tomorrow to buy MIL an industrial strength shredder for starters and then sign her up to the Telephone Preference Service and the Mailing preference service.

Oh and before someone says that I’m a heartless bastard that doesn’t care about the third world or children (We have to think perpetually about the Cheeeeldren), I’ve seen how some of the charities work in the third world.Ooverpaid and absolutely useless.

One Example:

Various charities had been in Angola for five years. A sewage plant had been inoperative for twenty years. Disease was rife in the region and nothing was done by the NGO’s. It took myself and a contingent of Royal Engineers, TEN days to get it operational. (Blowing own trumpet, SORRY).

The moral is choose, who you give to, wisely.


  1. To telephone requests for money, I tell them that I choose 3 charities each year to support and if they continue phoning me, their charity will not be considered next year. To postal requests (demands) I either use their self addressed envelope to enclose a note giving the above information and including flyers for double glazing, car insurance or a rival charity. If no self address envelope (the tight bastards) I use one of my own and post it without a stamp. Sad I know, and probably rather sick, but it keeps me gainfully employed while I'm waiting for the anti-chemo treatment to kick in.

  2. The Blue Peter Bus, don't forget the Blue Peter Bus, Mombasa, wasn't it?

  3. Fuck 'em all.

    Look after our local old folk & homeless first - I do.

  4. If charity worked for third world countries, do you not think they'd be sorted by now? After all, we've been sending it for - what - 20? 30 years?


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