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Saturday, 13 October 2012

Tele sales.

Today I went to the pub with Mrs FE to meet my daughter, her husband, and my grandson, for lunch.

Between courses I was trudging around outside pushing my teething grandson’s buggy around the car park when my mobile rang.

It was from my service provider. At first I groaned inwardly that maybe the message hasn’t been passed, that I’ve already had at least ten of their staff informing me that I’m due a new handset. Luckily that was not the case. That message seems to have got through to them at last.

No, this nice gentleman was trying to gain control of my other means of communication. My landline.

The spiel began.

Firstly he started of with how I could save money on the call charges (free minutes, free weekend calls, etc), anyway after this babbling from his prepared speech,  he actually asked how much I spend per month on calls in the UK. He was quite thrown off his quest when I told him that it was usually less than £1. He was silent for a while. he did recover with how I could have free world wide cheap calls. Again he was at a loss when I replied “Why should I need that service when I don’t know anyone abroad”. (I was nearly feeling sorry for him at this time). *Snigger*

Secondly he went down the internet route. If I changed to them I would be supplied with a top of the range router for free. I responded with the reply that I’ve already got a router, thank you very much. (Desperation on his part set in). “Our Router Mr FE is state of the art and is worth £800”. (Now I’m a member of Which?, and I know that my router is nearly top of the list and the one he quoted is near the bottom). He was starting to lose it, when I suggested , could I have the router without the solid gold case then? It all started to fall apart further when he stated his staggering low cost of line rental and other charges.

Throughout this call I’d been totting up the cost of his package, and being someone who in this day can actually do mental arithmetic, I had to have a quiet smile.

His day finally fell apart when I informed him that he was actually trying to sell me a package that was £2 MORE EXPENSIVE than I had at present. Hah.

So Orange, If you have a rep that has been found hanging from a rafter with a note saying TFE made me do it.

Don’t ring me when I’m in the pub.

(It didn’t help him when I kept migrating my handset close to my screaming grandson).


  1. A N Other Filthy Engineer13 October 2012 at 23:06

    I don't know what I've done to offend Orange. I've been with them (mobile phone only) for years and they have never pestered me like this. They send me a text message every six months to inform me I'm already on the best plan for my usage but that's about it!

  2. Bloody TeleSales people ought to be shot.

    Despite registering that I don't want the pestiferous barstewards annoying me, (Fuk)OfCom can only 'control' UK based callers.

    Like you Mr FE, I enjoy stringing the buggers along.

    I particularly enjoy making appointments for the HomeImprovementsMobs to visit to survey. And when they arrive denying all knowledge of such appointment. They waste my time (stopping what I'm doing to answer the phone); I waste theirs.

  3. In my new incarnation as a pauper, I have recently finished a stint at a notorious Bank's telephone call centre. You wouldn't believe the pressure people are under to sell sell sell.

    Folk call in to check their balances, the leave with a new account. Someone calls in to move some money, they leave with an ISA.

    The only thing that amazed me more, was how incompetant many people are with their finances.


  5. Sell me something better than this: (which I've had for more years than I can remember).

    1) Pay £10 per month PAYG credit for my 02 phone and all calls to other 02 mobiles for free (which everyone else has because all other services are crap in these craggy climes) as are calls to BT landlines so calls to Mum & Dad would be free if they weren't dead.

    2) Get a 10% refund on 'top ups' for no particular reason but which means that some months I end up with more credit than I started with especilly when I have not needed to "text" prostitutes with my special requirements.

  6. Over here in La Belle France cold selling is rampant and often concerns the selling of solar panels, now where I live has a fragile corrugated roof because it was originally built as a steel framed car repair workshop and then the original owner built the living quarters at one end, not legal now but was back then, so the roof is incapable of supporting the weight, however I have given up trying to explain this to the keen telephone sales people and let their salesman arrive to continue the pitch, which never starts because he has noted the roof construction before knocking on the door, I tell them to imform their tele sales team not to bother to call but the message never gets through. I get a nice warm feeling from wasting their time.

  7. Johnnyrvf.

    I get many calls from solar panel salesmen.

    However being an engineer, has taught me to research into the true cost of the operation and maintenance of solar panels.
    Just a few:

    They produce fuck all at night.
    They lose efficiency over time.
    The cost of replacing inverters
    Unless they are cleaned regularly they become next to useless.

    I usually wait for them to waste the time on their sales pitch, then hit them with the above and more.

    Then I ask for a cast iron guarantee that they will pay for the costs over the life quoted for the panels.

    After the ensuing bluster, I just put the phone down in their mid sentence.


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