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Tuesday, 26 June 2012

My speech

As some of you know. In ten days time I have to give away another of my daughters. (In marriage)(And why do we have to give them away. If the Fiancee likes her that much, why can’t he buy her off me).

Anyhoo. here’s a few more paragraphs I’ve cobbled together

While preparing this speech I was getting a little sentimental and decided to get out a few old photograph albums. Tears welled up in my eyes as I turned the pages and the one picture that stood out from the others was the striking photograph of my precious daughter lying on a rug, dribbling and pointing at the lens. What a treasure she looked as she tried to stand … she’ll never forget her 21st birthday.


When I was preparing this speech, I decided to learn from the great public speakers of history – but I found Stalin, Hitler and Castro a bit thin on loving tributes to the bride.


As father of the bride, it is my responsibility to make the first toast to the happy couple. I diligently researched many books in many libraries to locate just the right toast. In my search, I was astonished to discover that marriage is a trilogy of rings. When Paul decided that Linda was the girl for him, he asked for her hand in marriage and presented her with the first ring, the engagement ring. Now today, all of us here witnessed Paul and Linda vow their lives to each other as they exchanged the second ring in the trilogy, the wedding ring. But as many of you married couples here today will be able to confirm, the third ring comes a few years down the road, after the honeymoon is over, the bills are mounting and the kids are screaming. This third ring, of course, is the suffer-ring.

Can I use any of them. And if so. Which?


  1. not 2 and 3. They are as old as the hills...up there with the 'for-an-occasion' one.

  2. Ancient + Tattered Airman26 June 2012 at 20:48

    Do you think it wise to use the first one? I don't..Keep it brief.


  4. "If the Fiancee likes her that much, why can’t he buy her off me..."

    That's the system in Thailand. You want to marry the girl, then you pay sinsot (dowry) to her parents. And usually a substantial sum, too. However, in these more enlightened days what normally happens is that the money is paid (very publicly) on the wedding day, and then a couple of days later mum will quietly give the money back. (Phew! I was looking like I'd be well out of pocket for a while there! Good old mum!)

  5. wedlock is a padlock

    not no 3, too bleak on a day of celebrating the marriage.

    not no 1, she may never speak to you again!

    Maybe no 3, but not very relevant to the big day.

    Best of british to you!

    Piers, a lurker

  6. Try maudlin sentimentality and let others be clever.

  7. Captain Haddock28 June 2012 at 07:22

    Go for No 1 FE .. you'll have 'em eating out of your hand .. ;)

    My son got married last weekend, he began his speech by saying "This speech will be like a mini-skirt, short enough to keep your attention but long enough to cover the essentials" .. which went down very well indeed ..


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