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Friday, 11 May 2012

I am a solution to your problem in old age.

Worried your pension will run short?

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you - what do you do?

Senior Health Care Solution

Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets.
You are allowed to shoot 2 MPs and 2 illegal immigrants!
Of course, this means you will be sent to prison, where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating, air conditioning and all the health care you need!

New teeth? - No problem.

Need glasses? - Great.

New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart?

All covered.
(And your kids can come and visit you as often as they do now).

And who will be paying for all of this?
The same government that just told you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.

Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay income tax any more.


No wonder the rest of the world’s population can’t get here fast enough!

Terms and conditions:

This is a limited offer only. This offer only applies to the first 325 applicants due to the fact that MPs’ will have passed their kill sell by date. Illegal immigrants cannot be shot in Lieu. Applicants should apply to TheFilthyengineerripyouoffscam

Alternatively phone 060705049995 and be ripped of in thousands of pounds of call charges.


  1. I'm not sure I'd trust the shooting skills of the current crop of pensioners. Even if they have handled a gun before, between the myopia, dementia and Parkinsons, you might find a lot of not-so-near misses.

    Better make it at least a full mag.

  2. I've already sussed this as a retirement option. If I find myself in penury this is exactly what I'm going to do. You forgot the free higher education too.


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