Cheeeldren
Nothing but trouble. Mine should have been drowned at birth.
That got your attention.
It would seem to be the fashion these days to have milestone birthday celebrations in a style that I was never accustomed to. In my day you invited people round to your residence with the stern command of “Bring a bottle”. whereupon you went out, bought the cheapest plonk available, and then consumed whatever you fancied. Then everyone went home.
NOW.
You’re invited to a do, in a pub in the middle of nowhere, and expected to buy high price liquor, which you normally wouldn’t even entertain. (Bloody hell. I’ve gone into rambling mode already). However the worst is yet to come. After spending the whole evening drinking far too much, the truly awful consequences are revealed that night. Mrs FE has told all of the Daughters, Brother’s in Law, Nieces, son’s, etc. , that they can all stay at FE towers for the night.
Apart from the fact that the whisky lake is now looking like the surface of Mars, the buggers wanted a “Cooked Breakfast” this morning.
First is the gentle command (Demand) by Mrs FE, “We need more bacon”. Off I trudge up the road and procure said pork product.
On returning from my imitation of a polar expedition (I had a head like a nuclear reaction), I’m met with the request(order), “we need some orange juice”.
Trudging continues.
very concerned shop girl
trudges back.
“We need more bacon.”
trudges back to the shop (Shop Staff now very worried that FE might die )
That was breakfast over with.
Lunch.
“We need some wine”.
Trudging now has become equivalent to some punishment in the 9th circle of hell.
All’s well, that ends well.(Does it buggery)
Wine procured .
“Can you see if the shop has some garlic”? That is not a question when it comes from your betrothed.
Trudge.
Main course complete. Roast lamb very nice.
Pudding was either rhubarb crumble or ice cream. FE’s favourites.
But trudging was on the Agenda again.
“Can you see if the shop has any cream?”
Trudge.
Anyhoo they’ve all left. time for a whisky.
TRUDGE.
I need to go and lie down.
I would have told them all that if they want something special to trudge their own asses to the store..they aren't crippled.[and the continuation of that thought is normal considering my temper] however I can arrange for them to be if they want to whine about it.
ReplyDeleteGrow a pair !!
ReplyDeleteIt was written Tongue in cheek.
ReplyDeleteFirst is the gentle command (Demand) by Mrs FE, “We need more bacon”.
ReplyDeleteTo which the reply should have been
"I may be some time."
"I may be some time."
ReplyDeleteIt was. I was buggered if I was going to hurry. "Trudging" should always been done at the slowest pace possible.
I intend to turn it into a new olympic discipline.