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Friday, 12 August 2011

This looting made me laugh.

They had seen the images from London and Birmingham and wanted to bring a bit of rioting and looting to their own little corner of a West’s market town.

With their hoods up and with bricks in hand, they had arranged to meet on Facebook and selected their target – the Tesco Express store in the centre of Calne, Wiltshire.

Looks good so far.

But things didn’t really go according to plan for the Calne Five, who hadn’t exactly done their homework before setting off for a night of rioting, mayhem and looting.

For a start, they perhaps failed to realise that the looters of London were smashing shop windows because shops were closed so they could get inside to steal their goods.

It gets funnier by the minute

But if the shop is still open, like the Tesco Express in Calne was at the time on Tuesday night, they could easily have simply walked in through the open door.

But, with the two frightened staff inside quickly calling the police, the five set about trying to smash the huge pane of thickened glass that makes up much of the shopfront with their bricks and sticks.

It cracked, but did not shatter. In the end, with the door to the shop opening and closing just feet away as bemused customers came and went, the five ran off as the police arrived.

The full story is here.

I think I’ve wet myself.


  1. Such an indictment of modern education.

    Whatever happened to 'Intelligence Tests'?

    The idiots must be named and their mugshots circulated for everyone else's amusement.

    Ridicule the prats.

  2. I suggest that they scored in negative numbers in an IQ test. Prats

  3. Calne is a dangerous place. New to the area, I asked neighbours for the best shop to get some Dulux. 'Hornbys' was the reply. I had searched half of Wiltshire for this quaint, local paint emporium before I realised that they meant HOMEBASE... B@st@rds... Dibley Lives.

  4. P.S. True story... and I love Calne & Chippenham... and the people. I knew that I was in a parallel universe when on my first visit to the supermarket, the lady cashier (not young) proclaimed that she had risen early that day to climb a local hill, in the hope that she would see her new luvver's name written in the frosty grass. She said this as she checked my card detail... very disconcerting...

  5. P.P.S. What I meant, is that both stories are true...

  6. How many people live in Calne? Is it any surprise that the Police were able to recognise a couple of the Usual suspects and then track down their mates on Facebook, twats didn't even hoodie up properly.

  7. No more than 14000... including, at one time, Robbie Williams in Compton Bassett... which explains a lot!

    CHERHILL, a parish in Calne district, is famous for the Cherhill Gang... a notorious group of highway men who operated in the 18th century on the London to Bath (A4) road... They were noted for their robbery technique of attacking carriages of the wealthy Londoners whilst completely naked to shock the passengers into handing over their money and importantly so that they could not be identified... stand to, the 3rd Foot and Mouth Regiment.

  8. P.S. So, not wearing a hoodie, or anything else for that matter, is a bit of a local tradition in this area. In the Black Horse pub, there's talk of starting a re-enactment group for the tourists... especially the biker weekends... now that crop circles are on the wane.


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