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Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Smoking and me.


I will admit that I’m a lifelong smoker. Bearing in mind that I’ve been smoking for about 45 years and paid tax on my illegal perfectly lawful habit, why am I supposed to feel guilty about it.?

If for instance I average out the duty per pack of cigarettes at £2 per pack, then the extra tax I’ve paid, compared with an Anti smoker is: 2 x £2 x 360 x 45 = £64,800. And that is a very conservative estimate on the tax take. (I would hesitate to guess that it’s probably double).

What is worse is I suspect that my tax has probably gone on supporting the salaries of a couple of “smoking cessation advisors” or even worse, helped to fund the Quango ASH.(Spits).

Of course the Anti smokers will say that I’m a drain on the NHS. Well actually no. In my entire working career I’ve had precisely three days off due to the flue, my dental treatment is paid for by myself at no little cost, and I have private health insurance for myself and my family.

If as surmised that as a smoker I will die early, then of course I will be swelling the coffers of the state  by doing so. I won’t draw my pension for as long as the Righteous.

So to you Antismoker out there. Just look at what you’ve contributed. Misery for 25% of the population due your  incessant whining about how the whiff of cigarette smoke makes you feel sick, and the fatuous belief that SHS will kill you. It actually makes me sick with despair at how low this great country has fallen. Citizens fought for the right for minorities to peacefully co-exist. When the government comes after your favourite vice of choice, just remember this post.

Maybe in the interests of fairness you’d chuck £64,000 into the kitty just to even the score. After all I’ve been subsidising you for long enough.

Cheques payable to:

The Filthy Engineer

Sort code: I forget

Account number: Rhymes with Alzheimer's


  1. "It actually makes me sick with despair at how low this great country has fallen."

    Me too.

    I blame a lot of things, but there in the constitution of causes is womans sufferage.

    They have brought emotion into decisions where it has no place.

  2. Err! 'constitution' should be constellation.

  3. We all make mistakes. Me more than most.

  4. You wont have been paying the full amount of tax on the cigs you bought at sea! When I ran the bar on a couple of ships they were pence, mind you I was buying Skol special for 11p a pint, which goes someway to explaining the gut I now have.


  5. Captain Haddock7 July 2011 at 11:23

    Bring back "Blue-Liners" & "Pusser's Pipe Baccy", I say ..

    Ohhh .. and while yer at it .. the restoration of "Tot Time" is long overdue too .. ;)

  6. Pusser's Pipe Baccy?

    I've had Pussers rum...anyway I gave up smoking 15 years ago, something to do with my doctor saying the words "death certificate".

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