Google analytics

Monday, 14 March 2011

I’ve been perpetually scared.


One of the reasons why I’m sceptical over the current obsession with Global warming, Climate Change, Climate disruption, is that I’ve heard it all before.

In the 1950’s (Yes I’m that old), we were being scared silly because we were all going to be nuked by those evil Ruskies.

In 1962 a stupid bint called Rachel Carson wrote a book called “The silent Spring” about the danger of DDT. In a knee jerk reaction, Governments banned the use of DDT. A most effective malaria mosquito killer. Oh well Rachel, only 780,000 people died of malaria last year.

In 1970 we were all going to fry from a hole in the Ozone layer caused by CFCs. I still don’t understand the fact that  if  the majority of CFC’s were emitted by the prosperous northern hemisphere, why is the hole over the South pole? Incidentally it has closed up a bit since then.

Global cooling into the next ice age? Anyone remember that from the mid 1970’s?

1976. What a pig of a year. We were in danger of dying from an outbreak of swine flue. Predictions were for thousands to die. Nope, they didn’t.

1979. Topical at the moment. The nuclear reactor at Three Mile Island was going to Melt down. They even made a suitably alarmist film called “The China Syndrome”. The title refers to the concept that, if an American nuclear plant melts down, the core will melt through the Earth until it reaches China. I’m sure, that there are watermelons that still believe that crap.

AIDS. Be scared, very scared. Well no actually. Although 2,ooo,ooo died of HIV in 2009,  the percentage chance of dying from it is 0.0002% . Bearing in mind the population of the Globe is 9 Billion approximately.

1988. Put down that loaded Egg, and step away now. The great salmonella in eggs story by that master story teller, Edwina Curry, a junior health secretary.

1996 Mad cow disease. Mad to think that we were all going to die. Well we didn’t, but 4.4 million cattle were slaughtered.

1999. There's a bug going round. This one was going to invade our computers at the turn of the millennium. Funny that.

2003. Watch that Birdie. This time we were going to be slaughtered by rampaging fowl. Well actually a virus carried within them.

2007. “Bartenders dying in their thousands”. OK, I made that up. The year that the smoking ban came into force,

2009. Bloody swine flue is back.

This morning. Fake charities complaining that the Gubbermint is protecting the drinks industry. We’re supposedly dying from the demon drink. Strange that, as the government’s own figures show that alcohol sales are declining.

Phew. Made it.


  1. You missed:
    Foot and Mouth
    Painkillers only available in packs of 16
    End of civilisation from privatisation
    Bike helmets
    Everything else

  2. It's difficult typing with one's foot in one's mouth.

    And I'm damned if I'm typing with a bike helmet on.

  3. Good lad!

    You're SUPPOSED to be terrified of everything, everywhere, all the time.

    Terrified people pay their taxes, on time, every time.

    Terrified people give away rights that took centuries to gain.

    Terminal terror keeps us right where they need us to be.

    It's all part of the plan.


  4. Captain Blackadder: You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent war in Europe, two superblocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way there could never be a war.
    Private Baldrick: But, this is a sort of a war, isn't it, sir?
    Captain Blackadder: Yes, that's right. You see, there was a tiny flaw in the plan.
    Private Baldrick: What was that, sir?
    Captain Blackadder: It was bollocks.

  5. Did you forget to mention the asteroid hit?

  6. Captain Haddock14 March 2011 at 19:08

    You also forgot 13 years of misrule (for which we're all now paying dearly) by ZaNuLiebore ..

  7. Cap'n.

    I'm only scared that they might get back in at the next election.

  8. Mr Numba Cruncha14 March 2011 at 19:56

    Anybody remember that old chestnut about "Acid Rain"?, wtf happened to that!!

  9. Bloody hell, acid rain. No wonder everythings dead in my garden.

  10. One obvious answer is to start a few new ones. For example, are we quite sure the BBC doesn't cause eye cancer?

  11. Tufty,

    What a wizard wheeze! How does 'Watching reality TV rots your brain' or 'contradictory media information causes infantilism' sound? There's a ten dollar word if ever I heard one.

  12. Captain Haddock15 March 2011 at 09:32

    "I'm only scared that they might get back in at the next election" ...

    And you're not the only one mate .. the way Pseudo Dave's going, he's all but feckin' gift-wrapped it for them ..

    But then, I've always had my suspicions about that slimy, spineless twat ..


Say what you like. I try to reply. Comments are not moderated. The author of this blog is not liable for any defamatory or illegal comments.