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Wednesday 8 December 2010

Questions that Cannot be Answered

 

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

7 comments:

  1. Question No: 28 ..

    Why are Americans such complete cunts .. as to sit down & create a list of silly questions like these, in the first place ?


    Again, I suspect its another un-answerable one .. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha very good!

    Most have fairly obvious derivations, due to contractions/abbreviations, or the original sense having been forgotten.

    My bete noire: free up (= free)

    Happy bloody Xmas!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why do I gnash my teeth when unscrewing a tight lid on a jar?

    ReplyDelete
  4. What Captain Haddock said.

    And btw, I don't understand 26. Is it some other bit of American slang that I haven't come across, or am I being dense?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Here's another one: -

    If we're supposed to live in a meritocracy, how come Ant & Dec are millionaires? (Not to mention Piers Moron, Simon Cowell, etc.)

    ReplyDelete
  6. WY.

    A set usually implies there is more than one.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Why do people invite Hercule Poirot for the weekend?

    ReplyDelete

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