Right. This morning I decided to help those folks out with their Global warming malarkey.
- Central Heating on and set to 25 deg Check
- Windows open Check
- Oven on, and door open Check
- Fire lit Check
- Car started and left running Check
- 300w security lights on Check
- Immersion heater on and bath left running with plug out Check
- Shower on Check
- Mower running and left tethered to run in a circle. (Note to self.Remember to top up fuel tank) Check
- All lights on Check
There you are 10:10. Ten items to increase my global warming signature.
What’s that you say? I’m supposed to cut my carbon footprint? Oh dear, I must have misheard you. Ok I’ll leave the TV on standby then, and not watch it. And bye the way, my electricity meter caught fire due to the speed it was turning and the house burnt down. A bit of smoke never harmed anyone.
And the crash of that airbus 380 can’t be pinned on me for burning oily rags on the open fire. Can it? I admit that the visibility was a bit limited, but really just because the buggers circle over my house before landing at Gatwick can’t be my fault surely.
I’ll get it right next year. (Promise)
*Fingers crossed behind my back*