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Monday, 27 September 2010

The M25 Motorway

A classic case of redundant design, this motorway actually goes nowhere. It is in some respects verification of Einstein's Theory of General Relativity in that, if you drive along it for long enough, you return to your starting point.

It was designed to divert traffic from driving across London and lorries were banned in the metropolis during the day in an attempt to move them onto this road. This was a brilliant plan apart from one small but significant flaw - there wasn't enough room for the traffic that wanted to use it.

Add to this the activities of the Cone Fairy and the recipe for disaster was complete. However, some planner who is obviously some kind of lateral genius or an abuser of mind-altering substances came up with the idea of lowering the speed limit in order to increase the speed of traffic.

Against all logic, this worked.

There are those who say that, when looked at from above, the shape of the M25 is a demonic sigil. This of course is completely wrong - Satan's just not that clever.


  1. World's biggest bloody car park ..

    Very pleased I no longer have to use it ..

  2. In the book Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman the M25 is described thusly

    "The very shape of the M25 forms the sigil odegra in the language of the Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu, and means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds'. The thousands of motorists who daily fuem there way around its serpentine lenghts have the same effect as water on a prayer wheel, grinding out and endless fog of low-grade evil to pollute the metaphysical atmosphere for scores of miles around"

    I beleive this to be true and I am not mad.

  3. Nonsense.

    Its shape is defined by available space around and sometimes over hamlets.

    A roundabout is circular, as are many ring roads, they all serve a purpose.

    What builders fail to recognise is the popularity and demand for such routes that take traffic from smaller towns and villages, like the first section of the M1, it was only two lanes in each direction.

    As nightmarish as it often is, and the journey from St Albans to High Wycombe is made longer than a direct route, even with slow crawling traffic it was quicker than the direct one. But again, glad I don't have to do that any more!


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