Nursery Rhymes won't die out if we keep them updated.

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The future of nursery rhyme

 
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall 
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall 
The structure of the wall was incorrect 
So he won a grand with Claims Direct. 

 
It's Raining, It's Pouring 
Of course...it's Global Warming. 

 

  
Jack and Jill went into town 
To fetch some chips and sweeties. 
He can't keep his heart rate down 
And she's got diabetes. 

 

 
Mary had a little lamb 
Her father shot it dead. 
Now it goes to school with her 
Between two chunks of bread..

 

 
Mary had a little lamb 
It ran into a pylon. 
10,000 volts went up its arse 
And turned its wool to nylon. 

 

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie 
Kissed the girls and made them cry.. 
When the boys came out to play 
He kissed them to cause he was gay.

 

   
Jack and Jill 
Went up the hill 
To have a little fun.. 
Jill, the dill, 
Forgot her pill, 
And now they have a son.

 

  
Jack and Jill 
Went up the hill 
And planned to do some kissing. 
Jack made a pass 
And grabbed her ass 
Now two of his teeth are missing. 

 

 
Mary had a little lamb 
Its fleece was white and wispy. 
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease 
And now it's black and crispy.

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Alright the rhyming is crap. But this is what will happen if you vote labour in again. You've been warned