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Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Practical agony Aunt

Just a little thought.........

As you may, or may not have noticed, my profile gives my profession as a Marine Engineer.

If you consider that running a ship is like driving a small town at 25 MPH through the water 24 hours a day,I may be of help to anyone that needs some advice.

Skills needed:

Diesel Engineering knowledge: Must keep the ship moving and generate Elecricity.

Plumbing: Who do think fixes the washbasin etc?

Sewage disposal: Someone has to keep the toilet system going. otherwise we are up to our necks in it.

Electrics: Modern ships require a comprehensive knowledge of all things electrical. Can't have the cookers breakdown.

Workshop skills: Need these to build a barbecue when the cookers have broken down.

Air conditioning: Really important skills when in the Red sea or in the arctic. Phew it's hot, or I'm bloody freezing.

Refrigeration knowledge: Wouldn't want the steak to defrost would we?

Firefighting: Have you ever seen an amphibious fire engine with a 2000 mile range. Nor me. Believe me this skill is rather important.

Bar management: Believed by most seafarers to be the most important. Treasurer is best. it gives you the chance to practice Boom and bust. Mind you, Mess President gives you the chance to play at being PM.

Any way, to cut a long story short, anyone requiring need of advice in any of these skills, just post here.

If I can't help you, I can always run off and start another blog under an assumed name.


  1. I always thought sewage disposal etc was the job of the turd engineer.

  2. Just dropped in to say that I'm in the same, so called, boat as you.
    A retired Engineer. Not marine though, but filthy and mechanical.
    I just started a blog but you are streaks ahead of me. You must spend hours at the keyboard?
    I have a workshop in the garage and try to keep my mechanical skills on the go.....Don't like to much sitting around. Good Luck.

  3. Kippers,

    I only started at the beginning of this week

  4. I recruit engineers as consultants to the morons currently building wind turbines in the middle of the sea.

    Just saying, like


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