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Monday, 26 January 2009

I am an EU criminal

just thought I might see if I was more of a criminal than Snow wolf:

Offences related to waste - Check. If the black bin is full, then into the green bin.(do not tell the wife!)

Unintentional environmental offences - Check. Drought order. My garden comes first.

Insult of the State, Nation or State symbols - Check. Bloody F*****g EU
Insult or resistance to a representative of public authority - Check, see above.

Public order offences, breach of the public peace - Clean as the driven snow

Revealing a secret or breaching an obligation of secrecy - Mmmm, better not say too much.

Unintentional damage or destruction of property - Check. Set the scout hut on fire

Offences against migration law - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing) - Not done this one.

Offences against military obligations - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing) - Probably

Unauthorised entry or residence - Yes, but don't tell my sister

Other offences an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing) - Guilty M'lud

Other unintentional offences - See above.

Prohibition from frequenting some places - Banned from the Officers bar

Prohibition from entry to a mass event - Not done this one.

Placement under electronic surveillance ("fixed or mobile" - eg: home, car, mobile phone etc) - We will be shortly by the EU, so yes to this.

Withdrawal of a hunting / fishing license - Nope
Prohibition to play certain games/sports - Check. I was useless, so they wouldn't pick me at school

Prohibition from national territory - Not yet.

Personal obligation - an "Open category" (offences undefined thus all encompassing) - mmmm

"Fine" - all fines. inc minor non-criminal offences - Check. does no MOT, count

We really are fucked, aren't we.

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