While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom the entire time he is there.
A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, “I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here in the US , we know very little about it.”
The man looks a little perplexed and says, “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.”
The doctor answers, “I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.”
The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!!!”
The doctor replies, “Well, it's your choice. Go ahead, if you want but surgery is your only option.”
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vewy ware disease.”
The guy says to the doctor, “Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My American doctor wants to cut off my penis!”
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs. “Stupid American docttah,
always want opawate. Make more money dat way. No need amputate!”
“Oh, thank God!” the man exclaims.
“Yes”, says the Chinese doctor. “Wait two week. Faw off by itself...!”
*Note to self. Must get around to writing a decent blog post.
Went to the VD clinic near Mann Island in Liverpool once after a very active South American voyage for a checkup. It was a total bugger to find, in a brick built building on what seemed to be a very large traffic island. I mentioned to the doctor that it had been hard to find and he said well what do you want flashing neon signs saying "CLAP CLINIC". Clear but for crabs, what a bugger!
ReplyDeleteThe cure for crabs is whisky and Rock salt. Rub on the whisky then pour on the salt. the little buggers get drunk and stone themselves to death.
ReplyDeleteMuslim crabs were they? Stoned themselves for breaking Sharia? Lucky for you they didn't self immolate.......
ReplyDeleteI walked home and said to my Wife, "I've been so busy I don't know whether I'm coming or going!!" She Replies, "By the look on your face you're going. Because when you're coming you look like a fucking stroke victim trying to whistle!" Cheeky bitch!
ReplyDeleteIn china during sexual intercourse it is must to be wear condom to protect form hiv infection.
ReplyDeleteI love this joke! The version I heard was set in HK and the condition called 'Hong Kong Dong', which rather adds to the amusement, methinks!
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