tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post2329525072306046556..comments2024-01-09T00:39:13.955+00:00Comments on Oh what NOW!: OMG it’s nearly summerUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-53066664449355174902012-05-25T21:45:41.692+01:002012-05-25T21:45:41.692+01:00Oh, dunno about wedding speeches, we banned them f...Oh, dunno about wedding speeches, we banned them from ours (having attended some outrageously boring ones the previous year.) But the Old Testament lesson at the service was given by Mrs S-E's then boss. We got all the "duties of the wife" crap out of Proverbs and had him read it. Unfortunately, we weren't facing the right way to see who was sniggering.Surreptitious Evilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15393411103584747731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-26011472036332891502012-05-25T19:10:57.735+01:002012-05-25T19:10:57.735+01:00bollixed.
If I start telling them stories about b...bollixed.<br /><br />If I start telling them stories about big thrusting pistons sliding in and out of well lubricated cylinders they might take it the wrong way.The Filthy Engineerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07584236558282159183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-1561801779250661062012-05-25T19:08:43.573+01:002012-05-25T19:08:43.573+01:00Ian. I'm actually grateful to him for taking h...Ian. I'm actually grateful to him for taking her off my hands.The Filthy Engineerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07584236558282159183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-83647034787531250542012-05-25T13:11:26.129+01:002012-05-25T13:11:26.129+01:00I had to make a groom's speech on my wedding d...I had to make a groom's speech on my wedding day. I had no idea what to write, I kept thinking "tomorrow I'll start writing it". I still hadn't started by the time we sat down to eat, so I just stood up and wing'd it. I have no idea what I said, but everyone told me afterwards how good it was (but they have to say that, don't they?)<br /><br />So my advice is forget about it until you have to start speaking, mumble some platitudes and sit down as soon as you can.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-39235815971430431992012-05-25T12:02:55.392+01:002012-05-25T12:02:55.392+01:00My daughter is getting married in 4 weeks time and...My daughter is getting married in 4 weeks time and I have no idea what to say either. But if it goes well I'll send you a copy of my dribbling, woeful speech for recycling.Ed Pnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-35224280832049021942012-05-24T23:20:54.286+01:002012-05-24T23:20:54.286+01:00Why not just paint an analogy of a marine engine b...Why not just paint an analogy of a marine engine being like marriage. Litter copiously with engineering terminology and stop talking when the guests start to fidget uncomfortably. Stick to what you know mate.bollixednoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-9341672004213187842012-05-24T22:12:40.065+01:002012-05-24T22:12:40.065+01:00It would fill me with dread too.
Having sat throu...It would fill me with dread too.<br /><br />Having sat through many wedding speech things, cringing, my advice is don't try to be funny, and in particular crude, if your dinner speaking ability in front of a crowd is anything less than Barry Cryer.<br /><br />The age span of the crowd is about as broad as you will ever get, so you need to cater more to the dignity and standards of the upper end.<br /><br />I have found the most pleasant and bearable speeches to be those that are straightforward, sincere and short.EdmundTheBeekeepernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-6097128291492194242012-05-24T21:25:33.591+01:002012-05-24T21:25:33.591+01:00Have a man to man chat with your future son in law...Have a man to man chat with your future son in law, explaining - at length - the many benefits of married life, and liberally illustrating the discussion with colourful examples of the household and garden chores with which his life will be enriched the moment the honeymoon is over. With a bit of luck he will emigrate before the wedding and you won't need a speech at all.Ian Hillshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12619977137431223237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-80629202879930093462012-05-24T21:10:10.855+01:002012-05-24T21:10:10.855+01:00Help is always only a click away-
http://www.spar...Help is always only a click away-<br /><br />http://www.sparklingspeeches.co.uk/Twisted Roothttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18028038742993461842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-21729226198073296392012-05-24T20:54:52.615+01:002012-05-24T20:54:52.615+01:00You could say she is so lucky because Mrs FE took ...You could say she is so lucky because Mrs FE took away my rifle before I was able to shoot him.Old Codgernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3508346572086151757.post-48836421260881825042012-05-24T20:28:10.599+01:002012-05-24T20:28:10.599+01:00Hedge trimming the easy way:
Pray silence for the...Hedge trimming <a href="http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2744517/Crazy-gardener-trims-hedge-with-a-ride-on-lawnmower-and-a-crane.html" rel="nofollow">the easy way:</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65nEGOcqdco" rel="nofollow">Pray silence for the father of the bride...</a>microdavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01352078582764696261noreply@blogger.com